This is chapter 22, part 2 of the Pleasing María novel. If you are under 18 years of age, or are offended by explicit descriptions of sexual activity or violence, or by strong language, please exit this site immediately. To view the Table of Contents of the novel click here. To go directly to the first chapter, click here. To read the latest novel post, click here. This is a rough second draft.
Chapter 22 – Part 2, Lifelong Betrayal
María came to see me in my room for the first time and I rushed to embrace her. She sidestepped and forbade me to touch her – she just came to talk. She had seen my conversion to homosexuality, my cariños with Hilda, and felt sorry for me. I wanted to keep my knowledge of the video surveillance secret, so I didn’t ask how she knew.
She told me I could leave at any time – why did I stay? Sitting naked on the floor, I didn’t answer, or rather I answered by unconsciously massaging my genitals – my desperation for PP’s penis.
To sooth me, she began to talk about the good-old-days of our marriage. We talked about the daily hum-drum of the many years of our life together, the birth of our son, the trips we had taken, bicycling, washing dishes, small moments. María wanted to cheer me up, to show me the possibility of a happier life outside of PP’s zoo, but thinking about those moments with María just made me sad – I knew I could never get them back.
I asked, “What happened to us, how did we get bound up in sex and cheating and finally separated?”
She started, “It probably all began at the salsa sex dance club, all the sex and cheating and humiliation.”
“The German guy in the salsa club was the first time that you cheated me to my face.”
“I let him finger me because he had nice hands with long, elegant fingers. And because he asked me nice. He was kissing my neck and shoulders, trying to kiss my mouth, and he told me, ‘Open your mouth, I’m going to kiss you down to your soul and you´ll love it.’ So, I let him kiss me deep and I did love it. He was rubbing my thighs, and he said, ‘Open your legs. I’m going to finger you now, you’ll love it. Please.’ I said ‘no’, but he said, ‘A married woman that deep-kisses another man has already said ‘yes.’ I rubbed his penis, it was huge and hard, so I said OK. And I did love it, he gave me multiple orgasms just standing there.”
“That’s what I saw, him kissing and fingering you.”
“Yes, you came in and watched us. You should have pulled him off me or hit him, but you just watched and left.”
“I didn’t know what to do. Neither did the bouncer. You obviously wanted it, and I didn’t want to watch that.”
“Well, the German guy kissed me deeply and knew my secret – that I would say ‘yes.’ He knew I was a yes-slut, that I’d open my legs and mouth for his penis. He could have ‘yessed’ me away from you. But he didn’t.”
“I thought I had lost you when you left the club with him.”
“You lost big then. When the music stopped, I kissed him and told him to insult you. I told him if you let him get away with it, I’d fuck him all night. You know the rest of the story. You lost big then and forever afterward.”
“But you wanted him to do it. You were already doing it, how could I tell you no?”
“Then those other guys came and got me, five guys. Three of them just stuck their fingers in my vagina and stroked until they got bored. Two ravished my vulva and climaxed me. They opened my blouse and kissed my nipples. I rubbed their penises and told them to insult you. I promised them I’d fuck them someday. I did fuck them all. You probably didn’t notice that Deep-Throat and Jerk-face were those two. You lost big that night.”
“You didn’t have to go with them, get their dirty fingers in you. Why did you?”
“Because you didn’t stop me.”
“Slut. You told me you weren’t a slut, you were a free woman. You were just a slut.”
“The German was an excellent lover, and his penis was huge. He took me to an expensive hotel suite and pounded me for three hours. I blew him and he fucked my mouth, and licked my clit and made me crazy. He fucked me continuously and he kept asking me to leave you and stay with him forever. I finally said yes, and he immediately stopped. He said that I was just a cheap, trashy slut – if I’d do that to you for just a fuck, I’d do it to him, and he threw me out. That’s why I cried, because he threw me out and for what you didn’t do.”
“For not defending your honor?”
“No, for not defending your honor. I had no honor to defend, I was a trashy slut.”
“Yes, but you were my trashy slut.”
“So why didn’t you keep me?”
I had no answer so I ignored the question.
“You told me his penis was tiny; you lied. But I’m glad you came back, I would have been broken if you didn’t. I didn’t sleep imagining what he did to you, I was crippled by it.”
“I’m sure you really liked it, you probably jerked-off all night. I never lied to you, I just told you what you wanted to hear. The German was just the first public time. There were others before and lots after. You lost big that night.”
“I suspected you were cheating me.”
I was still mad at you. Afterward, I tried to fuck or suck someone every day, mainly suck. I painted my lipstick on every penis I could, then sent them home to their wives. I pulled their penises from my mouth and went to kiss you. I wanted you to taste them. But you were oblivious or pretended not to notice. Then later, almost all our sex revolved around the dance club, and you knew.”
“I didn’t know, I suspected but I didn’t know.”
“You never knew anything. I always cheated you, from the day we got married. The inventory at my job? My boss inventoried my body, but I did his too. He was just one of many.”
“I knew something was wrong, but I wasn’t sure. I wondered if you were cheating.”
“You always knew I cheated. I gave you lots of clues. You knew, I could feel you curl-up inside when I came back from another man. But you never did anything.”
“I felt worthless, like I wasn’t good enough for you. It hurt and I couldn’t admit it.”
“You were good, but not good enough. I knew the first time we fucked that you weren’t enough. You came in your pants. I kept looking for a man that was enough.”
“I knew that. What more could I have done? I never knew what I was lacking. Why did you even marry me?”
“Because you knew I was a slut and you still wanted me. All the other men just wanted to fuck me, but they’d never marry me because I came from a poor family and I had a slut’s reputation. You can’t imagine how it feels to a woman to have a man who really wants her.”
“You didn’t love me?”
“You were a nice guy, and you wanted me. I needed to escape my family, my father and my ex-lover. Wasn’t that enough? I said ‘yes’. Did you love me then?”
“I loved you as deep as death from the first moment I saw you.”
“You married me because I was the hottest fuck partner you ever had, you don’t need to deny it. I thought I could change you. I wanted you to want me so deeply, to love me so deeply, that your need for me would fill me. Maybe that would have been enough. But you never even once told me you loved me, not until San Francisco.”
“No, I loved you as deep as death from the first moment I saw you.”
“I’m not sure, maybe. But you didn’t know it, and you never made me feel it. You could have told me to stop. I wanted you to stop me, to give me rules, but you never did.”
“If I had demanded that you stop, would you?”
“No, I would have cheated you secretly. No clues. You wouldn’t have known. We would have been a happy, married couple, and I’d have been the happy mistress of a good penis with money. The perfect marriage, his penis, your mouth. He’d fuck me twice a week, buy me nice presents, lie to his wife, just like everyone else does. A perfect marriage.”
“I would have known, I could always smell your heat.”
“You would have pretended you didn’t know, pretended you didn’t see the presents, maybe you’d have your own mistress, and you’d give her presents and lie to me. We’d both be happy.”
“You’d know if I had another woman, you’d probably smell her heat on me.”
“I’d pretend I didn’t know. PP can do that too, he can smell my heat.”
“Is PP enough?”
“He has the best penis, better than yours, but he’s not enough either. He needs your mouth for my vulva. He needs to learn how to kiss me.”
“Are you cheating him?”
“What do you think? Yes, occasionally, mainly with women. They know how to kiss.”
“What will he do when he catches you?”
“If it’s not a serious man, he’ll pretend he doesn’t know, just like you did. With a woman, he’d just want to watch probably. PP thinks I´m a cheap slut.”
“Then let me use my mouth, and he’ll be your penis.”
“He’s watching us for that. He’ll know and he’ll kill you. He’s already castrated you, that’s what he’d do to a serious man, what he did to you.”
“He already wants me dead, wants me to kill myself.”
“Don’t even think about it! We’ll talk about that later. I won’t let him hurt you.”
“What about the small black guy in the tuxedo you fucked in the club powder room? Was he enough for you?”
María smiled, drifting away as she remembered him,
“That night was maybe the single best fuck of my life. He had something special that took me out of myself. I don’t remember what we did, I just felt that he only existed inside my body that night.”
“You had just met him at the club, you didn’t love him. I watched you, you weren’t even conscious. I thought he would take you away forever. How could you do that with a man you didn’t love?”
“I don’t know, he opened me up and came inside. I wanted him to stay there forever. But he didn’t. Then you told me you sucked him and you loved it. I thought he had done the same to you, that maybe you loved penises, you might become a homosexual. That’s why I put penis sucking off limits for you. I’m still not sure about that.”
“What? What do you mean?”
“Aren’t you homosexual now? I know you’ve been fucking men since you came here, lots of men. I think it started back then at the salsa club. You let men abuse and dominate you in our house …”
“Please stop! I don’t want men, I want you. I want you to be happy. I only do the men so you can be happy with with PP. Can we talk about something else?”
María turned the conversation back to my reasons for staying,
“PP is always telling me you’re useless as a man, as a person. He says you’re no better than the other animals in the menagerie. He’s asking me about our financial arrangements, our shared property, bank accounts, what I would receive if you died.”
I saw this was the real reason María came to see me – she was afraid for my life. Before I could answer, we heard a vehicle park in front of the house, and PP’s footsteps crunching on the gravel. María moved to the door, leaving me confused, wanting, depressed. And shocked by what she had revealed. She had manipulated me all those years, I had been weak and useless. I thanked god that PP had finally rescued her from me.
As she left the room, she commented that I had never once defended her physically. As I thought back over our lives, I realized that she was right. And equally bad, I had never defended myself either. She said, “All you had to do was defend me just one time.”
* * *
One Friday evening, after María’s screams of orgasmic ecstasy had subsided, PP came to the menagerie alone, erect, wearing a well-lubricated condom, and asked me gently to lay across the table and relax. I became super aroused, even the small stub of my penis under the broken sections became erect! I felt his penis rubbing top to bottom between my buttocks, and soon felt the discomfort of his penetration into my anus. PP slow stroked me at different angles, and I felt the fullness in my groin that I had desired for so many months. I was delirious with pleasure and lay there hoping it would last forever.
PP fondled my genitals and whispering hypnotically over and over, “You’re not a man or a woman, you can’t please anyone, you’re not even a good joto, your penis is useless, your life is useless. Your wife doesn’t want you, doesn’t love you, doesn’t let you touch her. She only has contempt for you and she is humiliated by your existence. María loves only me, I’m a real man, only I can please her. You make her unhappy by your existence.”
PP pumped my broken penis, and I felt that deep tension in my groin of a building climax. PP continued, “María is unhappy and is humiliated by your existence, she wants to be with only me, to marry me, to feel my penis deep inside her every day, she can’t be married to you, you need to let her be happy and free, you need to lose your existence, you need to lose your life.”
PP repeated this again and again, asking me to repeat and agree my life was useless and worthless and would not continue. In the delirium of his penis fucking me deep inside, and his hand pumping my broken penis, I agreed with all my heart, I had to liberate my beautiful wife María and give her entirely to PP. I raised my head, I told him to choke me, to take my life. And I waited to die.
PP continued stroking me. He told me I must end my own life to please María, only I could please her that way. He told me that I would climax now, the last climax of my life, and that as I climaxed, I agreed that I would take my life tomorrow. PP fucked me faster and faster, and I felt his body jerking and banging against me, his real testicles slapping against my fake ones, his penis swelled and started pulsating and he blew his orgasm into the condom as I exploded in agreement.
Of course, I had no intention of dying just yet, I liked being his queer bitch. I’d make him fuck me to heaven before I’d jump off this ball of dirt.
End of book content.
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