This is chapter 16, part 1 of the Pleasing María novel. If you are under 18 years of age, or are offended by explicit descriptions of sexual activity or violence, or by strong language, please exit this site immediately. To view the Table of Contents of the novel click here. To go directly to the first chapter, click here. To read the latest novel post, click here. This is a rough second draft.
Chapter 16 – Part 1, PerfectPenis
We were relieved we had rented a house in Antigua after we went by to see María’s family. They were still upset about the distribution of the inheritance, and were barely civil to us. We picked-up a large suitcase María had left there and escaped after an hour.
When María unpacked the suitcase, I was surprised the suitcase contained a large quantity of sexy lingerie, and other sexy inner- and outer-wear. María had told me her sexual activity on her last trip had been minimal and always casual, and I believed her.
I jested, “You must have been fucking the whole town!”
She mumbled something.
“What? I didn’t get that.”
“No,” she said evenly, “Just one man.”
I sat on the bed to let that sink in, looking through the piles of lingerie. So many pieces, some well used. Although I knew her collection of lingerie intimately (I had photographed her in every piece), I didn’t recognize most of these. I couldn’t think of what to say.
She began, “I haven’t been completely straight with you, I broke our rules here. There’s something about Guatemala that gets into me. I can’t resist the men here.”
“The men, or one man?”
“I’ve had a lover here, on-and-off, and he bought most of this lingerie for me. I’ve only seen him here, and not every time when I’m here. He was a boyfriend way back before I met you. He had other girls too, and one of them trapped him with a false pregnancy and they married by shotgun. Of course, they never got along well afterward, and separated and reunited several times. I’ve always had a soft spot for him, so I’ve seen him occasionally when I’m visiting.”
“Judging by the quantity of lingerie, it’s been more than occasionally. I don’t remember you ever told me about this guy in your confessions. When was the last time you saw him?”
“The last trip I made when my mother passed away.”
“The last … when you stayed four months? Were you staying with him?”
“We were lovers.”
Bunk kicked me in the neurons, ‘this is the missing link.’
I asked, “Is this the mysterious ‘mistress lover’ I’ve been wondering about all these years?”
“Yes, it should have been obvious he was in Guatemala. Now you know.”
“Ok, ok, Four months, and I suppose that’s why I had such a hard time getting you to come back.” Bunk kick my neurons again. I thought back farther, “Wait, and the trip we made together before that?”
“Yes, that trip too.”
“How far back and how many trips? Every trip? Even your tour-group trips?”
“He’s been my lover since before I met you and just about every time I’ve come here.”
“Even when you were lovers with Satyr …”
I was silent for awhile, sorting the piles of lingerie on the bed by colors. There were many yellow panties and brassieres, a color I had never seen before in her lingerie. I said, “I thought you didn’t like yellow…”
“It’s his favorite color.”
“Ok, this is a little overwhelming, but I don’t know why I’m so surprised. I suppose you’re telling me this now because you’re done with him and want to clear your conscience.”
“You and I are going to be here together for a while, while you’re working, and I’m going to be his mistress again. It won’t be possible to hide it from you, so it’s best to get it out front, and best if you accept the situation. I’m going to be his mistress again starting now.”
She had used the mistress word twice.
“Do you mean you’re planning to stay with him, in his bed instead of mine?”
“I’ll stay with him most of the time here, and you should get used to that – he’s going to to be a permanent presence in our lives anytime we’re in Antigua.”
“This is serious, a gross violation of our rules. This is why you lost interest in sex with me after your last trip? This is hot sex or something deeper?”
“His sexual technique is no better than than yours, especially lately, but he has an incredible penis. It’s absolutely perfect for me, and he lights the fire in my groin.”
I thought back to San Francisco and the Satyr – Satyr had been María’s main lover throughout our years in San Francisco. Now here’s this other man, her lover for even longer, years spanning Guatemala, San Francisco, and Guanajuato. Years spanning my whole life with María. I lost my sense for where I belonged in her life.
I said, “You didn’t answer my question. Sex or something deeper? Are you in love with this guy?”
“Hot sex, the hottest, groin searing sex. It’s his cock inside me taking control of me. I’ve got to have it.”
“No. This has to end here and now. You can teach me to do what he does. We’ll pretend I’m not your husband. I’ll be your bad-boy lover and you’ll be my slut. I think there’s more to this than what you’re telling me, some emotional involvement and I’m not willing to lose you again into another man. Absolutely no.”
“I swear it’s only sex. He’s older than you, not half as handsome or as kind as you. He’s married with kids and has no possibility of leaving his marriage. There’s no ulterior motives or emotions other than what pussy-exploding sex does to any woman. I’m getting older, I’ll lose my looks and sex appeal soon, and I’ll still be with you. I want this while I can.”
“I can’t believe that. You’ve been seeing him for longer than we’ve been together. You’ve hid him from me all these years for some reason. There must be more between you than sex. I’ve always given you complete freedom, and I still do. But I’m asking you please, for once, please just be my wife and my slut only.”
“I swear it’s only sex, and there’s no harm in one more adventure with him. It’s not like he’s a new stud that will steal me away. I’ve already had sex with him hundreds of times. There’s nothing we can do we haven’t already done, and he really knows how to ride me. Let me do this just this one last trip, please.”
We went around in circles for over an hour. I argued she had broken our rules about long-term lovers and about sex while traveling, but she became more obstinate as we argued.
She had two compelling arguments: first, he had been her lover for longer than she knew me. If she was going to leave me for him, she would have done so years ago.
Her second compelling argument, for which I had no rebuttal, was he was a better lover than me, he pleased her better than me, he gave her more and stronger orgasms than I could. She said it was only sex, she wasn’t in love with him, and she wanted to have some excitement before she got too old.
I had never objected to María fucking other men, but they were supposed to be casual affairs – long-term lovers were definitely against our rules. But as she insisted, I realized I wasn’t going to win this argument, and decided to negotiate conditions instead. I relented to let her see him but with lots of restrictions.
That concession was my undoing. She switched tactics from confrontation to sexual persuasion. She melded into me, slammed me with pheromones, used her body against me exactly like I taught her to do. As I weakened, she put on a series of his favorite panties, described what he did to her, and had me do the same. She twisted me until I conceded every condition, until I agreed she could be his unrestricted mistress.
Over the next few days, she went to see her lover every day, and she stayed overnight with him twice. She returned to the house happy, ‘sonriente de oreja a oreja’ (smiling from ear to ear). I didn’t ask her anything about him or what they did. I tried to talk to her about the overall situation, the breaking of the rules, but she refused to stop seeing him. I wasn’t too worried about the situation. I thought when we left Antigua, that would be the end of her affair because I knew about him. But I wanted to make sure their affection didn’t deepen, and I thought I could control the situation.
My latent fear of losing María surfaced again, I vacillated between anxiety and panic. And as with Satyr, I was intrigued she had cheated me with a deep lover for so long. I felt again that knife twisting in my groin, the jealousy and pleasure of being cheated, that another man was superior to me and stealing my slut-wife’s affection. Her statement “he was a much better lover than me” stabbed deeply into my groin – she hadn’t fucked me for several months. And she had taught him to ‘Ride’ her.
This was likely the start of my impotence.
* * *
Fortunately, I had on-site work to do in the villages around Lake Atitlán, so I decided to take María with me, away from Antigua and this lover. I thought if I had her to myself for a couple of weeks, we could discuss her affair more rationally, and I could convince her to stay within our rules.
In Panajachel, María was relieved she had finally told me about this lover, as she had no one to talk to before. I encouraged her, and she told me even the smallest details about him and their relationship. I didn’t ask his name, or want to see him or even see his photo. As long as he was anonymous, I didn’t feel personally threatened by him. Over the years of our marriage, our deep discussions had been few and far between, and this was one of those.
Her lover was 2-3 years older than me, about the same height, thinner, with much darker skin. He was one of María’s adolescent boyfriends. He had been in a bad marriage for many years and was lonely. He and his spouse didn’t talk to each other, and they lived in different houses. They had several children together. He specialized in large project construction. He was well-to-do, owned many houses and properties in Antigua and had a collection of unusual cars.
Just before we left Mexico for Antigua, María and her lover secretly tested for venereal disease, and they didn’t use condoms or any other protection. This was her idea – she said when he is inside her, she wants to feel his skin, and soar on the high of his hormone injections.
María said her lover is expert sexually and he tries hard to give her multiple orgasms. He’s unusual for his age in that he can get erect quickly after ejaculation. During sex, she has a sensual and emotional space-out, and intense orgasms that shake her entire body and sometimes make her cry. She said he makes her crazy during sex and she loses all sense of time and place, what I’ve always described as the ‘zone’. When he ejaculates inside her, she gets a strong hormone rush, and afterward she stays high for 2-3 hours as if she had taken a drug. After they climax, they continue caressing and kissing each other’s body until the lover becomes erect again, or they fall asleep. She said it’s the deepest sex she has ever had in her life, and, emotionally, he’s a much better lover than me or her other serious lovers.
When she came back afterward, I saw how happy she was – glowing. My impotence worsened.
During her last visits to Antigua, they lived together in his house or in our rental house, and they went out openly in public. Now I knew why our wedding plans never advanced. And why her family still considered her a whore.
Although they had been lovers for decades, her lover was much more excited this time since her husband was also present. The danger of discovery and the deception made their meetings much more exciting. Her lover had seen me walking around with her in Antigua. The apparent deception also made the sex more exciting for her. When he picked her up in his car, she was already so excited she attacked his penis as soon as she climbed in the car.
This level of excitement is precisely the reason María and I decided decades ago to forbid long-term lovers. This lover had the power to steal her from me, a heart-wrenching feeling.
Her lover didn’t like Americans for unknown reasons, and he particularly didn’t like me. When he had sex with María, he made racist remarks about how Latins are better than Americans. I think he felt like he was taking revenge against me, which made it more exciting to fuck her. María said ever since he first saw me, her lover wanted to own her, so he was physically forceful with her. He told her he wanted her to love him, and asked her repeatedly during sex if she loved him. She said she always told him the truth – ‘yes’.
María’s no fool, she knew his plan was to ruin her for me. He wanted her to fantasize about him when we have sex, so she’d never truly desire me again, no matter how much time passes. She conceded his plan worked – he saturated her with his hormones, and she became sexually addicted to him. At that moment, she wouldn’t even consider sex with another man, including me. When I insisted, she squeezed my testicles painfully, causing me to lose my erection.
At least once each session, he took her from behind in the power-fuck position, holding her hips and thrusting into her forcefully. He liked her to kneel in front of him, to suck his testicles and penis slowly until he ejaculated, while he held and controlled her head by her hair. She understood it was part of his technique of dominating and owning her.He fought successfully for her by sexual proxy, and she liked the fight.
Her lover had much darker skin than I, her long-time preference. She said the contrast of skin colors excited her, especially his almost black penis. The shape and size of his penis fit her better than mine and helped her have stronger orgasms. His erections were rock hard and the skin of his penis was smooth and glossy, she loved to kiss and lick it. María said she loved the texture of his penis and the taste of his semen. She said his penis is perfect for her, like a precision tool customized for her mouth and vagina. She joked his penis was an addictive drug – once his penis gets into your system, you can never get it out. We nick-named her lover ‘PerfectPenis’ (or just ‘PP’). I personally thought PoisonPenis would be a better nickname.
I regretted I allowed her to see him again – I should have steered her to another casual lover, but it was too late. She knew that visit was only for a short time, but it was a fantastic experience for her and she refused to miss it. I was sure she was in love with him. Still, I saw no chance (I hoped) we would separate. We were together so many years and she’s the mother of my son, so whatever she did then and in the future with PP, I would tolerate it and outlast him.
Still, I was worried. I rationalized from an objective, physical point of view, there was no damage. I couldn’t imagine the emotional and psychological effects would linger after our visit here, since that level of sexual intensity was no worse than when she was fucking the Pol or salsa-club fucking those many years ago.
Of course, their intensely sexual affair had negative side effects for me. Since she rejected my sexual advances and suppressed my erections, I had difficulty getting erections. I wondered then if that experience would affect my potency long term. And her descriptions of PP as being a much better lover than me, of having a perfect, addictive penis, provoked my humiliation response again.
On the positive side, to hear María discuss the emotions evoked by such small details as the color, size, shape and texture of penises, or making comparisons of penises between different men, or discussing kissing techniques, the preferences for sex positions, the forcefulness and passion during sex, etc., was a wonderful change. I wished it had happened many years ago. Even after fucking dozens of men over the years of our marriage, often as I watched, María had been holding back many of her descriptions and emotions from me, maybe because of fear of my reaction, or cultural restraints. So at the time, I planned to tolerate her affair with this lover, hoping the negative side effects could be mitigated.
Although it’s a little harder to explain, from her discussion of her lover, I developed an appreciation for what he was doing. It takes courage to seduce a married woman when her husband is nearby, to manage the meetings, and to deal with the fear and deception. I wasn’t angry or upset with PerfectPenis. I admired how skillfully he spirited away my slut-wife, separating her from me with sex and cariños. It was like I felt the grasp of his hand slowly crushing my genitals. I still didn’t want to know who he was at that moment, maybe later.
In addition, María had me wondering if either men or women are biologically monogamous, or if monogamy is a culturally imposed habit. I know I’ve often been tempted by other women during the period of our marriage, and have cheated a few times. I wondered if I could manage a serious sharing of María with a lover that hated me while she was in-love with him. I was sure he did intend to take her from me. If only it were just sex…
* * *
PerfectPenis followed us to the lake and found a hotel a short walk away from where we stayed. María stayed with him each night, easier for her since she didn’t have friends or relatives that might see her. She ate breakfast with him, and then came back to me. Her descriptions of her sexual activity with PP were detailed: what they did, what he smelled and tasted like, her emotional response, what she did to him, the pleasure it gave her when she made him climax, and so on. She liked to stay with him nights so they could have slow, simultaneous oral sex when they woke-up in the mornings.
She described one night – PP kissed her entire body, and concentrated on her ear lobes, a highly sensitive erogenous zone. He kissed her ears while he caressed her nipples with one hand and her clitoris with the other. She had slow, soft climaxes that continued as he moved the kisses to her nipples and down to her clitoris, causing a series of climatic explosions lasting about 15 minutes. When he tired, he entered her from behind and they climaxed together. I was throughly frustrated she wouldn’t let me touch her – the itch between my legs got stronger, while my erections turned weaker.
I mentioned this to María, “Your descriptions of sex with PP and how you feel about it is causing me erection problems. That’s never happened before.”
“I noticed that days ago. You asked me for every detail. I’ve never told you so explicitly before, especially about my feelings. It’s fascinating to see how fast and easily I can make you droop.”
“You mean you’re doing this deliberately?”
“I told PP about it, and we made a bet I can make you impotent with me. He says I’m too hot for any man not to get a hard-on. But so far I’m winning.”
“You’re emotionally manipulating me, your husband, as a game? What’s the winning bet?”
“Total impotence. I win the bet and I win PP.”
“And what does ‘win PP’ mean?”
“I dump you and go with him. What would I want with an impotent husband? If you want to keep me, you better snap out of this and get your prick back up in shape.”
“Let me fuck you and I will.”
“You couldn’t even jerk-off with that pathetic limp noodle – how can you fuck me?”
“Is this what you want – to make me impotent and leave me?”
“I want a strong man.”
“Is this what you want?”
“Of course not, I want you to be strong and take me back from him. Otherwise, yes, it’s exactly what I want. I’ll ruin you and leave because you’re not strong. I’m already winning and you’re close to becoming old history.”
Well, I wasn’t ready to lose her yet. But afterward, her comments about PP’s sexual prowess were intermixed with sharp insults about my impotence. She was intentionally killing me.
I finished my work in Panajachel and moved her to a different village every other day: Santiago Atitlán, San Antonio Palopó, San Lucas Tolimán, San Pedro La Laguna, Santa Catarina Palopó, San Juan La Laguna, even San Pablo La Laguna. I was determined to separate her from PP. Of course, she called him from each village, right in front of me, and he reappeared by the evening.
* * *
I finished my on-site inspections at the lake and we returned to Antigua. María stayed with PP almost every night without regard for who might see them. They sometimes went out in public together, and I got strange looks from the townspeople. I asked her where they might be going on her dates, then I avoided going to that area – I didn’t want to see him nor especially see them together. I realized why her efforts to arrange our wedding never came to anything, and decided I would arrange for our wedding in Guanajuato.
I never imagined this depth of sexual addiction in a woman. She let him do anything he wanted to her and she loved it. María still told me all the details (mixed with insults) I could stand to listen to.
Their relationship became more destructive back in Antigua. PP became more abusive to her – he called her a whore, said he would leave her if she didn’t leave me, he fucked her just to prove he’s a better man than me, he really didn’t want her, and so on. And then the next moment he changed completely and was totally loving to her. Listening to her, I felt like I was watching a slow-motion train wreck, terrified by what I saw happening but unable to stop it nor to stop watching.
María told me more about him – PP was in love with her as teenagers, and the reason he hated me is he thought I stole her away from him. He wanted to destroy our marriage. He told her she should leave me, I’m wasn’t a real man – if I were a real man, she wouldn’t have been with him. He wanted her to leave me but he didn’t commit to keep her either.
PP must have become frustrated with his slow progress in physically separating María and I. One night, he wrote in magic-marker next to her vulva, “esta puta es mía’ (I own this whore) on one side of her inner thighs, and an unusual name on the other side. It was fascinating: 1) María let him do it and proudly showed it to me, and 2) he expected me to do something drastic since it was clear who she fucked. He expected me to confront him or to throw her into the street, the typical Guatemalan male response. Maybe he wanted to provoke a violent fight where he might kill me. I had this advantage over him – he expected me to respond to his provocations like a Guatemalan man, but I would never do so.
PP had succeeded in stealing my wife’s affection and destroying our sexual relationship. He had made me impotent. But that wasn’t enough, he wanted total destruction. Of me.
Sometimes I hate that María is so much more desirable than me, she can replace me so easily, but I could never get another ‘María’.
I finally gave up and begged her for sex. I was frustrated, having difficulty maintaining an erection, and my masturbation was unsatisfying. María agreed to some small relief – I could caress and kiss her body … and clean PP’s semen from her vulva. I did it, crying as I licked out his semen, but I did it. I wasn’t allowed bring her to climax, to use my penis anywhere, nor kiss her on the mouth.
End of book content.
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