This is chapter 12, part 3 of the Pleasing María novel. If you are under 18 years of age, or are offended by explicit descriptions of sexual activity or violence, or by strong language, please exit this site immediately. To view the Table of Contents of the novel click here. To go directly to the first chapter, click here. To read the latest novel post, click here. This is a rough second draft.
Chapter 12 – Part 3, Penis Boycott
We took Drew and Terri to the airport the next morning. Seeing my little girl walk to the boarding ramp depressed me. I was sniffling as we left the airport, a miserable wreck by the time we got back to Guanajuato. I bumped the car in front of me at the toll booth. The women driver in front came out steaming, and looked at her bumper. She came to my window, saw me crying and María’s stiff face, and waved me off. María said nothing.
I moped around the house all day. María still didn’t talk much to me, and she left me alone. However, the next day, she was in full Latina fury. I saw her talking to herself, the fiery Latina look in her eyes, so I stayed clear. Late morning, she said we had to talk and I knew I was in trouble. She finally spoke,
“You’re a whore, a marica (queer) whore. You can’t handle penises and cocaine and I forbade you to do that, you swore you wouldn’t. There were five condoms on the floor – did you fuck Drew?”
“No, I could never fuck a man, I’m not a maricón. I don’t know what got into me, I let him fuck me over and over, it must have been the drugs.”
“You want me to believe Drew ass-fucked you five times in one night, and you did nothing to him?”
“I sucked his penis all night, he taught me to deep-throat. I swear I didn’t fuck him.”
“You swore you’d stay away from penises – did you like sucking him? Did you like him fucking you?”
“I’m sorry, I liked it all, it felt great at that moment, it had to be the coke. In the morning, I hated what I’d done. I’m sorry, I won’t do it again, please, I’m sorry.”
Drew hadn’t told her I asked him to hurt me, to castrate me and take her, and I certainly wouldn’t tell her.
“Terri said you tried to seduce her their first day here, that you kissed her vulva. She is still my best friend – how could you do that?!”
“I don’t know what happened, she let me listen to her belly, I got carried away, I think she wanted it too, I don’t know.”
“I watched you making love to her. You did it like you loved her more than me. You were depressed all day yesterday, like it was the end of the world. Do you want her more than me?”
“Of course not. She’s a good woman but no other woman could ever match you for me. I want you and love you more than my own life. It’s hard to explain – I was overwhelmed by her pregnancy, her baby girl. I really want a little girl that’s identical to you. I wanted Terri because she has a baby girl. I wasn’t loving Terri, I loved the baby.”
“How do you know it’s a girl? Terri doesn’t know that.”
“I heard its heartbeat, it sounded just like yours. I want a little girl exactly like you, I’d give everything for that!”
I loathed myself for not giving María a girl. I began crying again. María softened, but she wasn’t convinced.
“You never came to watch Drew fuck me. He was a madman with my body. I’m still sore all over. It was one of best fucks of my life, every night. Why didn’t you come to watch?”
María wanted me to watch, to see Drew caressing her hair – she wanted to make me crazy. Then what? What did she want me to do then? If I beat-up Drew, would she stop fucking other men? She told me years ago she would leave me if I tried to control her.
“I wanted to, but I couldn’t stand to see Drew touch your hair. I would have been crazy, I might have hurt him. I’m happy he pleased you so well, I really am. I wish I could do that, you’d let me do that. But you don’t let me do what other men do to you. I don’t know why, but I’ll take however much of you you let me have and be happy with that. I love you more now than ever, please believe me and forgive me.”
María pondered for a few seconds, then replied,
“I’m not sure about you. I let Drew fuck me and throat me and Ride me to punish you. I took cocaine so I could fuck him better. I’m still not sure about you, you drugged-up and made love to Drew all night. I’ll fuck a lot of other men before I’ll let you fuck me again. What kind of man are you, are you a maricón? Why do you want a penis in your throat? Why do you want a penis in your ass? Do you want men or women? Do you really want me?”
“I only want you, you’re my whole existence. I don’t want men or other women, only you. Why do you fuck all these men? Why not just me? I’m your husband, why fuck all those men?”
“Because you’re not enough. I want more than you.”
Of course, I knew that for many years, but it still killed me for her to say it.
“More of what? Who is enough for you? Is any man enough for you?”
“No, no man has been enough for me yet. Many men are more than you, better than you, but they’re not enough either. I don’t know what’s enough, so I keep looking. I need a man who burns me inside, that destroys me inside, that make me beg for his touch. You’re not that man.”
“If you find this man, what will you do with him? With me?”
“I’ll leave you and go with him.”
“You’ll leave your husband and son, just for better sex? I let you have all the sex you want with whomever you want. You don’t need to leave me for that. Don’t I do anything right for you?”
“Anything right? Yes, of course. You have the best mouth in my vulva, the best. For my nipples too. Your mouth is great because you love my vulva, maybe more than you love me. When you clean my vulva and lick me to orgasm, it’s like a an act of adoration, or worship, or love. It permeates my entire body. Terri said you love vulvae, you drove her crazy with your mouth. She asked me if I’d change you for Drew.”
María continued, “The only thing better than your mouth is a great penis. If you used your penis as well as your mouth, I’d never want another man. I wish you kissed me as well as you lick my vulva, but that’s expected. Women are the best kissers. No man kisses as well as any woman. María-lover was the best – she melted me down to my clitoris and made me crazy hot for her. The other right thing you do is let me look for a great penis, you let me fuck anyone I want. Great penises are as rare as your mouth. I had a couple of passable men in Guatemala, the Pol, the gardener in Zihuatanejo, he was green but had big promise. Deep-Throat and Drew are too small. Your penis is almost, but not quite right.”
“What’s wrong with my penis?”
“A great penis is more than energetic thrusting. It’s also size, color, texture, taste, smell and hardness. It takes all of these to make a great penis. Your’s is too pale, a little too small, and you don’t last long enough. Good, but not great.”
I protested, “The last is your fault, you’re so beautiful and sexy you overstimulate me. I can’t hold it forever.”
“Only you could make your problem my fault.”
I was incredulous, if I could kiss like a woman and grow a dark, bigger, longer-lasting penis, I’d be adequate for her. She stared at the floor, somber. She was serious. I started laughing, but she didn’t. She wasn’t finished,
“You’re a good man, you take good care of me. But you don’t burn me up inside – that’s what I want from a man. And I worry maybe you’re a maricón, I think you want to fuck men, you eat other men’s semen from my pussy. You want other men to fuck me and crush your testicles and take me from you.”
“Please forgive me, I’ll never touch another man again, I swear. You’re the only woman, the only person, in the world for me.”
“If you do it again, that’s it, I’ll leave you immediately. I don’t trust you, I don’t know what kind of man you are, a joto or just a weak man. I’ll keep looking for the right man, and I’ll find him someday and I’ll leave you. You’ll be shocked at how many men I’ll be fucking until I find him. Get used to the idea I’m going to leave you someday. From now on, I’ll be hunting for the right man. If you want to keep me, you better decide who gets your entire attention and how to burn me up inside. In the meantime, your penis is off-limits.”
I said nothing. María stared at me for a moment, went to the bedroom and returned. She had changed clothes. She raised her skirt so I’d see her panty. It was a light gray open lace panty, the ones that go transparent when they’re wet, the ones she wears to fuck her lovers. She made a call and left the house. I breathed deeply and relaxed, things would get back to normal. I would be tolerated if not forgiven for the moment. I would earn her forgiveness and trust again. I swore to myself to never touch drugs or another man again. Life would be good again. I was relieved Drew was gone and took his cocaine with him.
But however determined my resolve to be loyal and dedicated to María, the little man in the back of my head whispered I would love to do it all again.
* * *
The Castration Game resumed, initially without much enthusiasm. We were both perturbed by our fight over Drew and Terri, and try as I might, my sexual enthusiasm was dampened by her boycott of my penis. María continued to bring home new men, and I pretended to be humiliated by them to augment her orgasms.
María heard from Terri a few weeks later. It was a girl, beautiful and healthy, and Drew was there for the birthing. They named it María Teresa – María, not Mary. Drew signed the birth certificate within minutes of its issue. To me, all babies look the same, and I couldn’t say from the photos it resembled either of them. María said Drew fought with Terri for the right to hold her and change her diapers and feed her. I felt immensely proud and jealous and depressed. I could hardly face María, but she was so bubbly happy she didn’t notice. I pretended to look at all the photos of the baby, but they provoked my self-loathing. María did notice, and she quit drowning me with the baby news. I think she understood.
Finally two events broke our sexual impasse. Terri wrote to say she heard Hispanic couples always had godfathers/godmothers for their children. Before María had a chance to say more, I said ‘yes’, please ask them if I can do it, beg them if necessary. María was very pleased, she said they had already asked for us. I told María I would take her out to dinner to celebrate. María demurred, she already had a dinner date for the night, right after her afternoon try-out with the same man at our house. I was OK with that, we would do it the following night.
In the afternoon, she brought the man, and at first look, I didn’t like him. He had a jerk face, and I couldn’t imagine why María thought he’d be a good replacement for me. How he got this far and into our bed I couldn’t figure unless María wanted to punish me for something. He was worse than a jerk, he was a major sadist. He fucked my mouth hard, gagging me multiple times until I ran for the bathroom to retch. When he took my testicles, he tortured me. He didn’t squeeze to crush but to inflict maximum pain. I grabbed his arm, hugged it and rode it screaming while he shook and squeezed me. He put María in sadist heaven, climaxing multiple times while rubbing her vulva against his leg. After several minutes of this, María realized my screams were real, and stopped him. He asked if he could fuck me, and she threw him out. I did get the dinner date that night, and my penis reunited with her vagina afterward.
We returned to normal.
After several months, María Teresa took on her distinct features. Terri chose her gene donor well. The girl had dark wavy hair, and big brown round eyes. It was obvious she wasn’t Drew’s. Nor was it obvious she was Terri’s. She could have come from María’s womb. I would kill Drew if he ever mistreated her.
The Castration Game lost its momentum. María brought fewer and fewer men to the house after the hotel sessions. She knew they weren’t good candidates, but she took them to the hotels just to fuck men other than me. I could tell by her words and body language the current men weren’t interesting, and I quit going to observe them on the initial dates. Their seduction tactics were always the same – boring.
She wrote in her diary more often about an asexual man, just a conversation friend, than about her lovers. I never believed any man could be only friends with a woman as provocative as María, so I went to observe them. It was the first time I saw her with a man who didn’t aggressively try to seduce her – he must have been joto.
The Castration Game faded away and we didn’t know why.
One Sunday, María and I strolled through the Jardín, and she diverted to look at some hippie jewelry on the sidewalk. She squatted down, her short skirt hiked up above her hosiery drawing the attention of everyone in view. As I admired her legs, I overheard a woman comment about me, “How could he not know every man in town has fucked his whore?”
The light bulb clicked on. María and I viewed María through a distorted lens – a woman liberated from conventional morality. The town men saw her as a conventional whore. She had hit critical mass with the men – they all bragged about fucking Guanajuato’s most beautiful woman, and they all knew. However sexy she was, no one wanted the town whore for anything serious. The men only wanted to ‘score’ her for bragging rights.
When I talked to María about this, she cried for two days. She was the town whore in two places. We ended the Castration Game then, and my stimulation of María with my pain and humiliation became a private affair. Not very exciting, but we muddled through and became closer and happier with each other in the process.
End of book content.
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