Author Archives: María

Chapter 28 – Part 3, Confessions

This is chapter 28, part 3 of the Pleasing María novel. If you are under 18 years of age, or are offended by explicit descriptions of sexual activity or violence, or by strong language, please exit this site immediately. To view the Table of Contents of the novel click here. To go directly to the first chapter, click here. To read the latest novel post, click here. This is a rough second draft.


Chapter 28 – Part 3, Confessions

María hugged and comforted me. She said,

“I guess since we’re confessing again, this is a good time for me to say I’m sorry for destroying your life. Please just listen and don’t argue. It’s my fault you were castrated by PP. I knew he was dangerous and I knew he’d eventually try to castrate you. He’d done it before. Do you remember I told you about my first boyfriend, he was castrated by another man? That man was PP. When I met you, he had just castrated the kid and left the country. That’s why he didn’t come after you too. I guess you got me on the rebound.”

She continued, “I should have never put you two close together, but I wanted PP, and I thought I could control him. I balanced the danger to you against the sexual excitement. But I wanted you to control me too.”

I said, “You mean it was another game, a game of sexual manipulation of the men. After U&P, I didn’t want to play any more games, I just wanted you.”

She said, “I didn’t see it as a game, but I guess it was. PP was my lover in Antigua, long before U&P, even before the Pol, and it was just natural we fell back together after U&P. I was with him in Antigua every time I went to see my parents, every time I took a tour there.”

“So he was the missing mistress lover. That one was certainly not obvious. I don’t see how I could have known. I would have tried to stop it.”

“I hid him from you. It was easy since he was here. I shouldn’t have, but he was special, I couldn’t give him up. I didn’t see the harm–when I went back to Guanajuato, I was all yours. Almost.”

“Well, once PP poisoned me, I felt the same way. He was special. It wasn’t your fault. He played us both and he won.”

“No, it was my fault. I put you together with him. I wanted you to stop me, but, of course, you didn’t. I could have easily stopped it but I wanted to play. It excited me to watch how you reacted with him. I put you right on the very edge, to see who would tip over. I always thought it would be you, your love for me would win. But he was smarter, with the videos and the castration attempt at the lake, he provoked your humiliation weakness.”

“He had me figured out, he pressed all my buttons, hit all my weaknesses. He was my master.”

“It was my fault, I told him all about you. He knew exactly what to do. I even told him you were back in Guatemala at the lake. I told him you had a weakness for penises, you would love his penis like I do. I told him everything he needed to know to entrap you. He planned it out step-by-step. He’s relentless, once he decided, your castration was inevitable. It was my fault.”

“You knew he’d look for me at the lake? You knew he’d try to castrate me then?”

“I suspected … well, yes, I was pretty sure he’d go for you. I was so excited, waiting to hear from either of you, but I heard nothing and thought he hadn’t gone for you, or you had won.”

“I would have done anything for him to get him to leave you alone. Almost anything–he wanted to anus-fuck me on video tape so he could show it to the whole world, and I couldn’t, so I agreed to suck his penis instead. I think he knew I’d do that, and his beautiful penis enraptured me. Then he anus-fucked me anyway. But when he put his boot on my testicles, I felt like I had gone to heaven. He tried to crush my testicles and almost succeeded. I should say ‘we almost succeeded’. I wanted it as bad as he did. You don’t need to feel guilty. He drowned me in his penis and I gave my testicles to him until he finally crushed me.”

“Did you know he video’d what you did at the lake? No? You should have seen the desperation on your face, in your body, when he was grinding your genitals. He showed me the video months after your castration in the apartment. If I’d have seen that earlier, I would have given you to him much earlier. When you sucked his penis, you abandoned me. That’s why I always forbid you to have penises, not because I thought you were gay, but because I knew you wanted to be destroyed by a penis. For all the years of our marriage, you used me as bait to find the man that would destroy you.”

“And at the apartment?”

“I knew he intended to castrate you at the apartment because you wanted it too–he told me you asked for it. You were already finished by then, fallen way over the edge into his power, willing to be kicked to the gutter like you did to JerkFace. I guess I should confess everything now–I knew he would do it because I told him to do it, but only if you begged for it. You remember you asked me why I wore Jungle Gardenia? That was to celebrate his victory over you but also your victory over yourself.”

“But you knew I would beg him.”

“Yes.”

“He was even smarter than that. You and I could have survived the castration, but breaking my penis was genius. That was the end of us.”

“That wasn’t supposed to happen. I had forbidden him to touch your penis. But it really didn’t matter, it was still the end of us. I wouldn’t keep a castrated man. You were castrated mentally and I had already left you. I only took you back to Mexico because he disobeyed me and ruined your penis. The irony was all that could have been avoided.”

“I don’t see how…”

“When we went to Antigua and you saw all my lingerie, and you found out about PP? That was intentional. I unpacked in front of you so you would find out and stop me. I wanted PP, I craved his penis, I was afraid that if I went just once with PP, he’d overwhelm me again. I wanted him but I wanted you to stop me more. We argued, I gave you all the reasons you should let me fuck PP, but I wanted you to say ‘no.’ All you had to do was say ‘no,’ and mean it in your heart-of-hearts. I would have known and you would have been enough for me. You would have saved me, the castration would never have happened, and we’d still be tightly together, enough for each other. But you were weak again, you let me have him again. He captured me again and I turned on you. It became a game.When we went to Lake Atitlán, I told him where we were. I wanted to get you as close to him as possible, right up to edge, knowing he might try to castrate you. I thought I could control him. But he made me crazy. We made the videos and photos, I was out of control with him. And he was smarter than me, he attacked you in a different way, through his penis, and he trapped you too.”

“I never knew he was the same guy from before. You could have told me he was dangerous. But you’re right, he hooked me with his penis. He was smarter than both of us. You needn’t apologize for the castration. After lake Atitlán, I knew he wanted to castrate me. I tried to help him do it then and I knew I’d help him again. He wanted to castrate me so I wanted it too. He also said he wanted to make you the world’s cheapest whore.”

“Did you want that too?”

“Yes, whatever he wanted.”

“Didn’t you ever think he manipulated you? That he wanted you to abuse me to break us up?”

“Ay, diós mio, is it possible? Ay, diós, I’m so sorry.”

“You succeeded. Were you happy?”

“I hated you for marrying him. Then I hated myself. He should have castrated me at the lake, then I wouldn’t have whored you out. But he finally got me. He video’d that, did you see it?”

“Yes, he showed me. He tortured you for a long time. He almost killed you. Just like he did with José.”

I lied, “What! He killed José?”

“No, he crushed his testicles, and broke his penis, like you. I found out later José was in the hospital when I came back to the apartment. His brother came from Buenos Aires and took him back there.”

“I told PP to destroy me and kill me. I thought I did it for you, so you’d be free of me forever. Your strong husband destroying your weak husband.”

“Yes, you were always weak. I guess I never could stay with a weak man. I didn’t like to be around them.”

“I’ve heard rumors you destroyed men’s genitals in the clubs when José pimped you?”

“I stepped on their pricks with red heels, like you always wanted me to do with you.”

“Because they paid you or you liked it?”

“I always regretted it afterward, but I loved it at the moment–it was always your prick I was grinding away. Some of them never told me when to stop, I don’t know why I went so far. They paid me…”

“I also heard your fucked your brother.”

“You shouldn’t believe everything you hear. And he wasn’t…urr…isn’t my brother, he’s nothing to me.”

End of book content.


I welcome all constructive criticism and commentary of any aspect of the story, from grammar and spelling errors to coherency problems within the narrative. If you’d like to comment on the story, use the (moderated) comments form. For all other communication with the author, send a message via the contact link at the top of the page. Please don’t spam or troll, your comments will never become visible.

If you’d like an email notice of the posting of each section of the book, please sign-up on the upper right side of this page. I promise you will never be spammed nor will I ever pass your contact information to anyone else.

If you enjoyed reading this piece of the Pleasing María novel, please share it with your friends.

All the contents of this web site are Copyright © 2015, 2016, 2017 by Guy Ordinary, all rights reserved. The contents have been registered as a published work with the U.S. Copyright Office.

Chapter 28 – Part 2, What Love Is

This is chapter 28, part 2 of the Pleasing María novel. If you are under 18 years of age, or are offended by explicit descriptions of sexual activity or violence, or by strong language, please exit this site immediately. To view the Table of Contents of the novel click here. To go directly to the first chapter, click here. To read the latest novel post, click here. This is a rough second draft.


Chapter 28 – Part 2, What Love Is

I dumped PP’s genitals into a jar and added alcohol. The alcohol clouded with blood and PP’s testicles floated out of the sac when I swirled the jar around. I sent a message to the Estrella asking how to contact a taxidermist. I’d display his genitals proudly in my room, with his name in big letters on the plaque.

* * *

I received a message from Rosa. Brett had caught her cheating, he had moved out, and she wants my help. I reply I’ll try, in exchange for a fuck. Of course, I don’t really mean that, at least I don’t think I do. In any case, I can’t fuck, but I’d love to put my face in her vulva again. But I don’t really mean it, I don’t want to fuck my son’s wife, I just want to see what she says. When she says “yes” in her return message, I’m saddened but not surprised.

I will help her, I’ll talk with my son, try to convince him there are much worse fates than living with a slut. Rosa is an amazing woman, a truly great slut, he should keep her. If I were him, I would die to keep her. I won’t tell him to give her just one more chance, because she’ll need an infinity of new chances. I’ll tell him to get used to it, to learn to enjoy it. Neither our son nor Rosa know María left me for PP, that PP castrated me to take her–this will be a difficult conversation with my son. He should keep Rosa, she’s an incredible slut. I decided to ask María for advice.

I called María and we decided to meet that afternoon in Ciudad Vieja. I caught the buses to Ciudad Vieja, and met María and her black lover beside the Temple. We sat on the concrete planters around the trees in the courtyard. Copulating beetles scurried by, mocking me with what María and I should have been doing. The Temple’s crosses threw shadows on the ground that advanced towards us like pitchforks. María still wore our engagement ring and wedding band. At least the black guy didn’t wear my wedding band.

I started the conversation by threatening her lover–I told him I was still her husband and I’m bound by law and by love to protect María. He can fuck her all she wants, but if he ever mistreats María, I’ll have him killed. If he wants to leave her some day, he should do it nicely and cleanly, but never mistreat her.

The black guy and María looked at each other and smiled and he graciously accepted the opportunity to step away when I asked for privacy with María. María was unperturbed by my threats to her lover – she said he was an international martial arts competitor, and he’d easily tear me to pieces if I provoked him.

We discussed our son’s and Rosa’s situation. We decided I must convince our son it’s a woman’s very nature to have multiple lovers, it’s normal, and it won’t diminish Rosa’s love for him, or my granddaughter. María gave me permission to progressively reveal aspects of our own marriage–that she was a hot, sexy dancer that fucked her dance partners, she had multiple casual lovers that I knew about and helped her control these affairs, and so on.

As a last resort, I could reveal I wasn’t his true father. Our son surely knew María had cheated me on occasion. In San Francisco, she came in late some nights, clothes, makeup and hair totally messed-up and he saw that. After those nights, he was upset for a few days and would argue with and disrespect her.

I shouldn’t ever tell him María left me, I had been castrated, or any other outcome that reflected a bad ending to slutty behavior. We wanted them to stay together, and for our son to give Rosa the same freedom I had given María. Of course, the truth was María had forcefully taken her freedom from me. I wanted to tell our son Rosa was a special slut and he should grovel at her vulva, but I didn’t know how to say it.

* * *

María said, “The Estrella told me you have a woman with something very special.”

“Yes, she’s staggeringly cute, what you must have looked like before I met you. She makes men’s groins twist-up inside just like you do. She looks like she’s 16, she provokes the latent pedophile in all men, but she’s in first-year med school, so I guess she’s legal age. She won’t tell me her age, and I can’t imagine what she wants with an old, crippled man like me. And she has a penis–I guess that’s the special thing the Estrella mentioned.”

“He’s a transvestite.”

“No, she’s a woman”

“Urr, ok, does she love you?”

“She says she loves me. I’m the only man that has ever understood her.”

“But she doesn’t have a vulva, and you don’t have a penis. How will you fuck her?”

“She said she loves me. Maybe a woman with a penis needs a man with a vagina. I’ll ask the Estrella if I can still do that.”

María joked, “If you have a vulva, and can kiss like a woman, wow, that’s a temptation. Let me know–as long as you let me have as many penises as I want.”

“I always have.”

“Do you love her?”

La amo hasta la muerte.” (I love her as deep as death).

“More than you loved me?”

I laughed, “You mean more than I love you now. No, not even close. No other woman could ever get close to you. But she’ll do just fine until I get you back.”

“Well, you need to choose carefully, you may get stuck with her because I’ll never come back to you. But the Estrella said she was beautiful and simpática. I’m not surprised she has a penis. I always thought a penis would finally get you. I knew from the start you would be weak for penises, that’s why I forbade you to touch them.”

“Just like you are weak for vulvas? I bet you have woman lovers now. Wait till you meet her – she’ll twist up your groin like she does mine. You’ll fight me for her, then you may get lost in her vulva, urr, her penis. Weak for penises? I wasn’t homosexual, if that’s what you meant. Marikarina is like you. Only a penis attached to a woman like you could ever knock me over. Her penis is really a confused vulva, and I’m the one who’s confused. But I’d trade that for you in an eye-blink, even if you don’t love me anymore. Did you ever love me?”

“I wanted you since the first moment I saw you. Why do you think I tormented you continuously? I flashed my body at you, teased you, tempted you every way I could. But you were so slow, unsure, you could have had me long before–how could you not have known I wanted you?

“That’s called prick teasing, and I was the prick. But that’s not what I asked. You wanted me, but did you ever love me?”

“What’s the difference?”

“What’s the difference! I don’t know. I thought you’d know. Women always know, have to know. You have to tell me, I’ve wanted to know this my whole life. You have to tell me!”

“I don’t know, I thought you would tell me someday.”

I still didn’t know what love is and she didn’t know so she couldn’t save me. Maybe it wasn’t our fault, maybe it was that holy-roller’s penis in my mouth when I was six, or maybe her father’s finger in her vagina when she was three. But no–we could have, should have, gotten beyond that. It was us, there was no one else to blame.

* * *

We sat in depressing silence for a few moments. I asked, “So how did you find this black guy?”

“You sent me to him.”

“What?”

“You remember the first black man that seduced me at the salsa dance club right after we got married? We talked about him before PP and I went to Rio de Janeiro.”

“Yes, of course, how would I ever forget him, he was my first penis suck. He almost converted me to joto!”

“Well, in Rio, the beach was full of muscular black guys in speedos, and I fucked a couple before PP caught me.”

“Once a whore, always a…”

“Don’t you dare say that!” she laughed, “When we returned from Rio, I contacted the dance club black guy, and we started again.”

“But how did you find him?”

“You gave him to me. While you were in France, I went through our old photos and memories. Do you know you have hundreds of photos of me and us from when we were first married? Well anyway, I found your favorite books from that time, and his phone was on a note you used as a bookmark in the book you always wanted me to read…”

“The Magus.”

“No the other one, something about Zen…”

“Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.”

“Yes. I recognized his name on the bookmark and kept the note. When we returned from Rio, I called the number, got his sister, who gave me his phone. When I called him, he immediately remembered me, and he came here to see me.”

“After all these years, just like that?”

“He left his wife and kids and never returned. We put him here in Ciudad Vieja, close by but out of PP’s sight.”

“We?”

“Me. I took money from PP to support him. I spent my afternoons with him while PP worked in Guate city, it was heaven.”

“Once and always a slut.”

“Yes, always a slut. PP discovered us, of course, and hit me. And I moved here with him.”

“I´m sure PP won’t bother you again. Was the black guy worth it? Is he that good?”

“Better in some ways. He’s not as energetic as the first time, but has a smoothness and softness now that’s delicious. The funny thing is we’re not really in love, at least I’m not in love. We just love to fuck each other, and he makes me forget my hurt. He remembers you, your first penis suck. He thought you were totally insane, letting him fuck me, then sucking his penis. You were … we were, insane then.”

Now I was crying.

End of book content.


I welcome all constructive criticism and commentary of any aspect of the story, from grammar and spelling errors to coherency problems within the narrative. If you’d like to comment on the story, use the (moderated) comments form. For all other communication with the author, send a message via the contact link at the top of the page. Please don’t spam or troll, your comments will never become visible.

If you’d like an email notice of the posting of each section of the book, please sign-up on the upper right side of this page. I promise you will never be spammed nor will I ever pass your contact information to anyone else.

If you enjoyed reading this piece of the Pleasing María novel, please share it with your friends.

All the contents of this web site are Copyright © 2015, 2016, 2017 by Guy Ordinary, all rights reserved. The contents have been registered as a published work with the U.S. Copyright Office.

Chapter 28 – Part 1, Double Revenge

This is chapter 28, part 1 of the Pleasing María novel. If you are under 18 years of age, or are offended by explicit descriptions of sexual activity or violence, or by strong language, please exit this site immediately. To view the Table of Contents of the novel click here. To go directly to the first chapter, click here. To read the latest novel post, click here. This is a rough second draft.


Chapter 28 – Part 1, Double Revenge

The next morning, I got the Estrella ready for her shift at the hospital, I brushed and stroked her hair and skin interminably until she said I would make her late. I had her drop me in the Zona 6, made a call and waited for my ride. While I waited, I reviewed my plan over and over. Risky, but I saw no flaws. Minutes later, two sicarios (hitmen) picked me up and we headed towards PerfectPenis’ office.

There was another plan afoot—the sicarios stopped outside our old sex dance club and another man climbed in. I was shocked to see José again, the former chief bouncer and María’s lover. I wasn’t entirely pleased. I asked, “What are you doing back in Guatemala?”

“I heard from the club owner María had died and you and her daughter had returned to the club asking about María. He had her daughter’s phone and I called her. She told me the whole story, and now I’m here to kill PerfectPenis.”

“The Estrella is not her daughter, she’s my lover …”

“Yes, yes, I know and María is not dead. I just got into town last night, called in a few old favors and discovered your contract on PP. Now I’m here to help you get your revenge. Then I’m going to get María and take her back with me to Buenos Aires.”

“That won’t be as easy as you think, What’s your beef with PP?”

“When I went back to get María years ago, he sucker punched me, said he was María’s brother, invited me in and black-jacked me from behind. When I woke up, he had cut-off my balls and broke my penis, just like you.”

“You had no right to be with María. You were supposed to protect her when I asked you to rescue her. For that matter, in the club, you were fucking her behind my back, you were supposed to be her protector.”

“Don’t be an idiot, Guy. She seduced me. She was the biggest slut in Guatemala. And the best. I think all the bouncers were doing her and who knows who else. She said you knew and you liked it. You could have stopped it at any time, but you let her do it, so we just took advantage. Why not?”

“Why did your leave her?”

“Her stripper girlfriend had stolen your wedding rings. She called and asked Maria for money. When Maria went, she wanted money second and Maria first. She gave Maria gonorrhea, who gave it to me. I freaked out and left for a couple of days. When I came back to get her, that’s when this guy castrated me. I never knew who he was, now I’m here to kill him.”

“Still you betrayed me, you were supposed to rescue her, not make her the town whore.”

“You’re lucky PP broke me. I was going to keep her, take her to Argentina. You would have never seen her again.”

“Well, there are two of us that want to kill him. I guess I’m glad you’re here. I can use your help. I have an idea. If my plan works out today, you can have the coup de grâce.”

* * *

Just like María had told PerfectPenis about me, she had told me all about him. I knew his greatest weakness, his granddaughter that he loved more than his own life. From the stationary and correspondence I stole from his house, I had forged a letter from PP’s son to his granddaughter’s child care.

I checked my watch – just a few minutes before, a well-dressed woman accompanied by a private security guard should have picked up his granddaughter. I looked at my watch again, just as my phone rang–the sicarios reported they had her.

We arrived at PP’s office and parked half a block away, hidden beyond some trash cans. I told the sicarios to come in exactly five minutes, and I went and rang. PP was surprised to see me, but let me in. I sat and he said,

“You’re really not welcome here, what do you want? You want to suck my dick again?”

I squelched my desire to do just that, steadied myself, and calmly explained, “From this moment, you belong to me. I’m still María’s husband, bound by law and by love to protect her. Here, take a look through this folder.”

I passed him the list I had compiled of all his direct-line descendants, his entire seed, children and grandchildren with addresses, schools and places of employment.

“I intend to kill you and your entire seed. This won’t be the first time I’ve killed, I’m sure you know what I mean. If you ever hit María or bother her again, you and all your descendants will die, your dear beloved wife Hilda will get everything. This is a promise. You’re proud and stupid, so I know you’ll try something stupid, and you will all be killed.”

He reached into a drawer and extracted a revolver, laying it on the desk.

He said, “I could kill you right now…”

“And you and all your descendants will die. The contract is already out and paid for, and if I don’t stop it, you’ll be slaughtered. If anything happens to me or Maria or any of my friends or family, your family will be wiped out. Now, I need you to make me believe you believe I’ll do it.”

He smirked, “Maria has left me, you can get her back, if you can…”

“You’re a fool. I let you pervert me, castrate me so you could make María happy with your ‘perfect penis’. You destroyed me for nothing, I kept my promise, my pledge to you, all the way through to bringing you my testicles in a trophy sculpture. I did all that for nothing, you threw her away again by your jealousy. Look at me, look in my eyes. I’m mad, I’m your angel of death!”

I saw the first flickers of fear in his face, I meant the threat and I think he believed me. He seemed to shrink and age as I watched. How our positions had changed! Just a few months ago, I was naked on my knees in front of him, kissing his genitals as if he were a god. Now, he was growing small, ugly, old, afraid and insignificant. He wasn’t perfect anymore, I felt powerful in front of him. I felt a presence in my groin–I had got my penis back.

He said, “Is that it? I don’t care about you or Maria anymore, get your money back, no one will bother you. Now if you’re done, I have work to do.”

“No, I actually have one more request for you. Before I tell you, I want you to call your son, ask him where his daughter is, if she’s safe.”

PP picked-up the revolver, “If you ever touch her, I’ll tear you to…”

“Make the call!”

PP made the call, told his son he’d wait for the answer, waited a few minutes, then hung up.

“What do you want?”

“We need to even the score. Now listen carefully, if you don’t do exactly as I say, we will kill her, and not nicely. She will be raped in every orifice until she dies, then we’ll throw her body in a sewer. I’ll join the rape with a broomstick or baseball bat. We’ll video tape the rape and send it to her parents.”

“I’ll hunt you down and…”

“You and all your family will be dead first.”

“What do you want?”

“I’m going to leave here in a few minutes. As I leave, I’ll make a call, and you’ll have exactly five minutes to complete what I tell you. After five minutes, the rape begins. I hope they don’t kill her before I get there. If you do what I say, she’ll be safe at home within 15 minutes.”

“I’m listening.”

“When I leave, you’ll call one of your employees in here, and have him sit over there. He’ll be the witness for what you do. You’ll tell him to call an ambulance and report a serious injury. Now hand me my folder and remove the item from this bag.”

He opened the bag and took out a white hand towel, his face registering confusion.

I continued, “After he calls the ambulance, you’ll swivel facing him, Stand, drop your pants, and sit. Then you’ll use this.”

I threw the item on the desk, the same thin wire garrote he had given me months ago to amputate my genitals. I said,

“You know what to do. Cut off all of it in a single motion. You only have a few seconds before you go into shock. Immediately pick-up your genitals and put them in the bag. Cover your wound with the towel. Then order your employee to immediately throw the bag in the trash on the corner, then return to wait for the ambulance. That’s the most important part, to throw the bag in the trash can, but that has to be done within five minutes. When that’s done, and I have the bag in my hand, your granddaughter will be immediately released, completely unharmed. Otherwise, the first penis will be bursting open her vagina.”

“You are crazy, I’ll never do that. I can kill you right here, you’ll never make that call. And we’ll ransom her back.”

I went to the door and opened it. The sicarios came in pointing shotguns at PP. Behind them entered José with a pistol. PP turned green when he recognized José.

“You’ll do nothing–we’ll kill all of you with pleasure. Now put down the gun, stand up and move over there … Good. The first blast will rip off your groin. You’ll be castrated anyway. The next blast is for your face. Where they shoot you afterward is up to them, I don’t care. You stupid idiot, you could have saved your granddaughter’s life and yours.”

I picked up the revolver, and moved to the door, “Give me a few seconds then kill him.”

PP dropped to knees, “Wait, stop, I’ll do it, anything you want, please, just don’t hurt her.”

“Ok, you know what to do, you have five minutes, your genitals in the bag in the trash outside. Now, don’t think, just act.”

I faked a cell call and said only, “Five minutes”, then walked out the door followed by the sicarios and José.

We walked down the street to our car. Barely 15 meters away, we heard yelling in the office. By the time we got to the car, several men and women were yelling, and moments later, a young guy came flying out of the office, ran towards our car and threw a bag at the trash. He missed, the bag scooted along the sidewalk almost even to our car. José got out, retrieved the bag, and handed it to me. I looked in, and said, “Let’s go.”

As we drove, I called and said, “Take her home.” It had been mostly a bluff. The girl would have never been touched, and there was no contract beyond killing PP. I had to kidnap the girl to make the bluff believable, PP was the only one to be hurt. If he didn’t fall for the bluff, we would have killed him, otherwise he would have killed me and my family and maybe even María. Now I had his genitals, and he believed the bluff was real. He would live in fear the rest of his life, and would never dare to seek revenge. And he would never fuck another woman again, forever. An appropriate punishment for hitting María.

One of the sicarios commented to no one, “Too bad, the little girl is cute, I’d have liked to poke at her.”

José asked me, “When can I kill PP?”

“Wait till he’s released from the hospital. He’ll be at his ex-wife’s place. He’ll be an easy target. Take our friends here with you, they’re welcome to PP’s ex-wife. She’s sexy but evil. Give it to her hard, front and back, but otherwise don’t mess her up too bad. I think my contract adequately covers that. The girl is just for me.”

The girl was a bluff, I could never touch her in spite of her genes. I saw her at the child care, beautiful long wavy hair, big brown eyes, she would be a María-spirit, maybe even a María. If she were my granddaughter, I would worship her.

* * *

Back in the Zona 6, I paid-off the sicarios, and José and I walked to a bar for a celebratory drink. We sat at the bar, tossing down shots of rum Zacapa Centenario, admiring PP’s bloody genitals in the bag. He said, “I understand why you get so crazy about María. I think about her all the time. I know she’ll never come back with me and you shouldn’t count on it either. She gets crazy with sex, she craves pricks, wants one inside her all the time, and does loco stuff when she’s hot.”

loco stuff?”

“Men paid her big bucks to step on their genitals. Some got more than they bargained for, she destroyed their penises, grinding them under red heels. I even saw her fuck her brother once.”

“What?!?”

“Yeah, she nude lap-danced him until he was burning up, she put his hands on her breasts and butt and between her legs. I watched all this. He fingered her, he was panting and crazy and desperate. She opened his pants, pulled out his prick and pumped him up, then she bent over. He jumped up, smacked into her, and banged her just three or four times before he blew. I barely had time to open the doors. He was screaming, ‘devil bitch, evil whore’, and she was crying.”

“Open the doors?”

“Yeah, they were in the little lap dance cube in the private lounge, and the town mayor and a bunch of political hot-shots were in the lounge, watching him screw his own whore sister. She wanted to ruin him with his own hypocrisy.”

“Oh, jeez. She was my wife, you should have taken care of her.”

“Yeah, whatever. Your wife was Guatemala’s biggest and best whore. I should have kept her but she was too out-of-control for me. You want her – I hope you get her back.”

My penis stub was pulsing and José’s face oozed raw sexual desire. I asked him, “Can you be sucked-off?”

“Yeah, you?”

“Let’s go to your hotel.”

José’s penis was broken much like mine, twisted into crooked sections. He tried his best on me first, it was just passable. Then I gave him the best penis suck of his life–until he jerked back with the first spasm of ejaculation and I nipped him with my front teeth. He reflexively punched my penis and I punched his back in anger. We took turns punching each other’s penis. He was much stronger than I and mauled my penis with exquisite pain. I wanted it all over and I begged him to kill me. He went loco and beat my body and penis with the rage of a man whose penis once commanded the respect of any woman, including my María. Our once virile, now useless, appendages were a gift from PP for which he would die.

The pain of José’s blows was delicious. I quit fighting and told him to never stop. He beat me until until he collapsed crying, calling out for deliverance by María. I called out for the deliverance of death. We both suspected if María had to choose between these two cripples, she would chose José. José had beaten me not for what PP had done to him but for the far greater crime I had done—I kept María from him for several years.

That’s when I finally understood—PerfectPenis was PoisonPenis but María was an addictive poison too. Once she gets in your system, you’re never free again. I watched José blubbering on the floor. He was just the medicine I needed at that moment, but he would never give me the deliverance I wanted. Only María could legitimately do that, and I existed only to please her.

End of book content.


I welcome all constructive criticism and commentary of any aspect of the story, from grammar and spelling errors to coherency problems within the narrative. If you’d like to comment on the story, use the (moderated) comments form. For all other communication with the author, send a message via the contact link at the top of the page. Please don’t spam or troll, your comments will never become visible.

If you’d like an email notice of the posting of each section of the book, please sign-up on the upper right side of this page. I promise you will never be spammed nor will I ever pass your contact information to anyone else.

If you enjoyed reading this piece of the Pleasing María novel, please share it with your friends.

All the contents of this web site are Copyright © 2015, 2016, 2017 by Guy Ordinary, all rights reserved. The contents have been registered as a published work with the U.S. Copyright Office.

Chapter 27 – Part 2, Woman with a Penis

This is chapter 27, part 2 of the Pleasing María novel. If you are under 18 years of age, or are offended by explicit descriptions of sexual activity or violence, or by strong language, please exit this site immediately. To view the Table of Contents of the novel click here. To go directly to the first chapter, click here. To read the latest novel post, click here. This is a rough second draft.


Chapter 27 – Part 2, Woman with a Penis

As promised, by 9:00 PM the next evening, about 25 girls crowded into our apartment. They were all from the med school, ranging in appearance from super ‘guapa’ to pretty plain. The Estrella was among the top three in attractiveness. All, except for two indigenous girls, were dressed in sexy costume-party attire, complete with garter belts and thigh-high hosiery, and since we didn’t have but a few chairs, many sat cross-legged on the floor, legs and lingerie in full view everywhere. They didn’t seem to care that I looked and mentally drooled over them–they knew I had a broken penis and no testicles. I figured that was why many of them were there, to see what a broken man looked like. I already knew a few of the girls, including the ‘estrellitas’—they smiled knowingly at me as they remembered my mouth in their vulvae.

This was a girl-on-girl costume party and I had heard the med students gave the wildest parties. I was not disappointed. In spite of the rum punchbowl, loud Latin music and energetic salsa dancing, I quickly realized I was the prime attraction. Several girls joked I was overdressed, even though I wore only shorts and a T-shirt. In short, they expected me to get nude, and the more they drank, the higher their expectations.

The girls began dancing seductively, flirting with each other. Of course, the Estrella had chosen only lesbians, bisexuals and wannabes for guests and they were already deep kissing and fondling. The Estrella watched me circulate among the girls, serving drinks and finger foods. She twinkled and laughed, thoroughly enjoying my discomfort at being the object of curiosity. Our relationship had progressed such that we could do that and love each other for it. I adored her.

But I was most intrigued by another girl–she was the most attractive, the super-’guapa’. Every time I looked at here, I had a deja-vu flash I couldn’t identify. She wore a short plaid, pleated skirt, a thin, off the shoulders blouse with elastic neckline, thigh-high white hosiery with a frilly black garter belt and lace straps supporting the hose. A large plaid bow in her wavy, shiny hair and five-inch heels completed her outfit. The skirt barely covered the top of the hose, and every movement of her body danced her skirt above the garter straps below.

The flash became a flash-back. She was the mirror image of María on some occasion in our early years, with that fierce cuteness that had overturned my world and changed my life completely. But this girl looked even younger, too young to be in medical school, not really old enough to be of legal age. And her eyes followed me wherever I went. Her name was María Karina, nicknamed Marikarina, and her gaze lit that old fire in my groin, what was left of it. I judged her to be a full María.

As the evening progressed, the dancing grew crazier, and some of the girls were getting antsy, and I wondered just what type of show the Estrella had planned for me. Someone called out, “Guy, the Estrella said you have a fantastic mouth – let’s see what you can do with these.” It was Marikarina talking. She had removed her blouse and was unhooking her bra. Her bra was purely for decoration. Her breasts were too small to need a bra, not even an A-cup, and she had small, pale nipples and areolas. This just reinforced my impression she was underage, and I looked over at the Estrella. She smiled and gave me the thumbs-up.

I walked to Marikarina – her breasts were small but well-shaped and symmetrical–I loved them. I reached for her, but she said, “You’ll have to undress first.” That took all of 8 seconds, and I ignored the collective gasp when my mutilated genitals were exposed. A fierce tittering broke out among the girls, none of which I really heard–I was on my knees attempting to capture Marikarina’s nipples with my tongue. Marikarina watched my mouth for a few seconds, then closed her eyes and drifted away. I ignored the buzz around me and concentrated on those beautiful small breasts, licking and sucking. I was as hot as a man with damaged genitals could ever hope to be. Marikarina held my head and steered me from side-to-side between her breasts. Her small nipples engorged, reddened, and she pressed her body against me.

Marikarina finally pushed back my head, and said, “The Estrella was right, you have a great mouth. Let’s see what you can do with this.” She unzipped her skirt, hooked her skirt and panty with her thumbs, and dropped them both in a single movement. Her body had a magnificent hourglass shape, smooth curves, and flawless skin. My eyes moved down to her smallish but well-formed erection, a beautiful erection. The chatter in the room stopped instantly, I heard Marikarina’s rapid breathing.

It took me a moment to realize something was amiss, yet it still felt right. Her penis was feminine, beautiful, long, dark and slender. The scrotum had pulled up tight so the testicles and sac were hardly visible. I looked at the Estrella, then at the girls around the room. Everyone there knew about this except me–this was the show. I looked back at the Estrella, she smiled and relaxed. I reached forward and held Marikarina’s hips in both hands, leaned in and kissed her penis lightly, then began licking her penis. The noise exploded again in the room. I pulled Marikarina to the floor on her back and began to devour her penis. Exactly how a great mouth should do. As I licked and sucked, I remembered María’s prohibition and my oath to her. But she was not a man, she was Marikarina, a María, and I was bewitched.

Marikarina was definitely a María for the man who wanted a woman with a penis – she easily passed the dirty dish rag test with me.

Marikarina shuddered and ejaculated, and I sucked every drop out of her penis as she became flaccid, pulling and stretching on her penis. Then I lay half on top of her, and put my mouth to work kissing her. She kissed me back like she loved me. I knew she loved me, and great waves of joy washed over my body. Maybe that’s what love is: sucking the penis of the sexiest girl at the party. I told her between kisses she was the most amazing woman I had met in many years.

After awhile, Marikarina wriggled out from under me and sat up. I looked around and saw most of the girls had paired-up and retreated into corners to kiss and caress. I saw bare breasts, buttocks, lingerie, and the occasional vulva everywhere. This had become a real sex party. The Estrella and the ‘estrellitas’ were a threesome, shifting hands, mouths and vulvae as they squirmed together.

Marikarina said, “That was fantastic, the best I’ve ever had. Now it’s my turn. She was erect again, rolled me over, spread my legs, magically produced a condom and lubricant, and penetrated me. I didn’t feel any pain, just the sensation of movement in my groin. I sniffled, suppressed the urge to cry, letting those waves of joy flood over me again. I was delirious, crazy–I had found a María once again. Life would be good again.

The Estrella appeared, caressing my back, and kissing my neck while Marikarina stroked into me. When Marikarina ejaculated and withdrew, I lay there basking in love. The Estrella rolled me over and caressed my chest. Marikarina lay besides me. Several girls came over to examine and fondle my genitals. I asked Marikarina if she could throat me, her penis was a perfect size for that. She said she had never tried—she would ask her boyfriend to practice with her, and when she could escape again, we would do it.

The Estrella wanted to talk, “The guy that’s been coming to see me every week? He told me yesterday he loves me, he asked me for a commitment. I’ve been waiting for this for a long time, but I won’t commit to him without your OK.”

“Do you love him? Does he burn you inside?”

“Yes, more than that, I think he’s the one for me, finally.”

“What would he think of you at this party?”

“He knows. He knows about my ‘points’ and my lovers, men and women. He knows about you, that we sleep together and what your mouth does to me. He says he can live with that as long as all pregnancies are his. He says I’m a free woman, and he hopes I’ll choose him.”

¨That seems very reasonable.”

“Was that your deal with María? Pregnancies had to be yours?”

“No, we had no deal other than her rules: she would do whatever she wanted and I would accept it. I don’t think Brett is my natural son, but he’s still mine.”

“Would it have mattered if she had other children by other men?”

“No, men’s genes don’t matter. If it comes from her womb, it’s mine. Do you believe your boyfriend?”

“I told him I’d get fucked tonight, and he said, ‘Enjoy yourself, but remember who really loves you.’”

“You don’t need my approval, I exist to please you. I’ll support you whatever you do.”

I looked around again. Most of the girls were nude except for their garter belts and hosiery. The two indigenous girls had lost all their clothing. One was on all fours, her derriere in the air, face buried in her skirt on the floor. A Ladino girl swirled two fingers around in her vagina, alternately stroking and rotating. The other indigenous girl lay on her back, breasts beacons to the sky, while a Ladino girl worked her vulva with her mouth. The look on her face was as much anguish as ecstasy–she violated an ancient Mayan taboo, divorcing herself from her culture, and she knew she’d never fit in again.

I turned to the Estrella, told her I adored her, and asked her to ditch the guy and marry me. She said, “Of course, but first you have to do something with that great mouth for me. And several other girls are waiting for you too.” I did as I was told, and when her thighs released my head, Marikarina’s penis took the next turn in the Estrella’s vulva. Life was good again.

I feasted on a succession of vulvae, each a different flavor, like a kid in a candy store. I noticed Marikarina was as popular as I, pleasing the girls as I no longer could. She passed a lot of time stroking into and deep kissing the Estrella. Later she did the same with an indigenous girl, but the girl insisted Marikarina should not wear a condom. I’ll never understand women. I took the indigenous girl next, and gave her my whole semen-cleaning ritual. As I finally drifted off to sleep, Marikarina was mounting estrellita-blondie, power-fucking her with the energy of only the young.

I swirled in bizarre dreams, re-lived the gang-rape of María with Larry and Drew and Terri, and jerked awake with a yell. I reached for the Estrella, but I was alone on the floor. Marikarina was dressed exactly like María the day we gang-raped her. The Estrella had dressed Marikarina like that just for me. But why? One of the girls opened her legs, called to me and I crawled over to please her.

The next morning, I awoke on the floor reeking of vulvae and rum, and my head was splitting. The Estrella had already left for work, and I sat at the table drinking coffee, watched several nude girls on the floor sleeping, and wondering what had happened. The very thought of kissing a man’s mouth or body was repugnant. Yet I felt happy about Marikarina. She was not a man, just a great woman with whom nature had made a cruel mistake. I started cleaning up, cups, plates, food fragments, lots of clothes. I kept all the panties for my personal collection. I drained the punchbowl in the sink, and discovered gel-cap residue in the bottom. They had spiked the punch with some drug–you should never trust anyone at a med-school party.

Marikarina was a María-spirit. She would have been an authentic María except for her genital mismatch. Like María, she could free me from other prisons if I followed her. Conventional morality could not contain these women. I was blessed.

* * *

The next day my cell phone rang – I immediately recognized Marikarina’s voice and my groin contracted in pleasure. She said,

“I’ve been thinking about you a lot. Can we get together and try out the deep-throat you wanted?”

The tension in my groin began doing somersaults, and I felt the volcano warming my body.

“Yes, absolutely, I’m in the ‘Zona 7’, is your place nearby? I’ll come right over.”

“Well, I don’t have a place anymore. My boyfriend heard about the party, and he threw me out last night after a brutal fuck this morning. I’m at a friend’s house for the moment. I thought maybe I could move-in with you.”

Now my whole body shook and burned with desire. But this could never work.

“But you’re so young, I could easily be your father. How old are you?”

“Old enough to be in a residency in med school. Old enough to make my own choices, to choose the right man for me.”

“Yes, but why me? I’m old, ugly and deformed. There are dozens or hundreds of young men at the school.”

“Because I felt your love for me. That you understood me. Do you love me?”

“I did love you, I do love you. I don’t know if I understand you or any other woman, I always get stuff mixed up, yes, I love you.”

I had told Marikarina I loved her. I said those treacherous words without hesitation, meaning be damned. I doubt if anyone knows what love means. It’s much easier to say if you don’t know the meaning or if it means nothing at all. I should have realized that decades ago, when I really needed to say it to María.

Marikarina replied, “You’re the only man that understands truly I’m a woman. Will you take me to live with you? I promise I’ll make you happy.”

“Yes, I want you. I’ll make you happy too, at least try my best. It’s not fair, you’re so young. Can I caress your hair anytime I want? Will you save me? You have no idea how demented I am!”

“The Estrella and the estrellitas told me all about you. Yes, I can save you. I promise.”

I explained to her I had to check with the estrellitas. I would move to their apartment in a day or two and they had to approve her presence with me in the house. This might take a couple of days since I hadn’t seen them yet. And I owed them so much. Marikarina said she could stay with her friend for awhile. She gave me her address and I called a taxi immediately. I could already feel her mini nipples under my tongue, her penis sliding into my throat. I was bewitched, out-of-control.

We had to go out for lubricants when I arrived. Marikarina kissed me all over my body, my nipples and spent extra time time sucking my broken penis. She throated me so expertly I suspected she had done it often. She was the perfect woman with a penis.

Returned from Marikarina’s place, reclining back in the taxi seat, I re-lived what I had just experienced. This second time was much better than the first. I leaned my head back, formed my mouth into an ‘O’ and began sucking as her imagined penis slid smoothly into my throat. The taxi driver watched me in the mirror, pulled off the road and politely pleaded for a blow-job. I was still buzzing with the pleasure of Marikarina, and felt generous. He slid into the backseat and I popped his penis out, imagining it was Marikarina’s. He wanted more and his hand snaked into my pants. His penis pulsed but I slowed down to give him a chance to grasp my penis, then quickly sticky-licked around his penis head to a thrusting explosion. It pleased me to please him and I was happy with his shot of testosterone. The taxi ride was free.

The estrellitas already seemed to know about Marikarina. Maybe she’s part of the conspiracy to shift me from the Estrella to them. And they’ve already tried out her penis. Maybe Marikarina loves women, maybe she thinks I’m a woman with a man’s facade. She pounded estrellita-blondie at the party like a horny teenage boy. I’ll be a woman for her if that’s what she wants, or a man with a vulva if that’s what she wants. I´ll learn how to kiss like a woman, maybe get a vulva and vagina. I won’t blow my chance with this María, it’s my last chance in life, until I get María back.

I told the estrellitas about Marikarina’s penis in my throat, her penis in my anus, two sheaths for her penis. I described our kisses, my mouth on her nipples, sucking her penis, teasing out her tiny testicles. I asked them what else could I do to please her? Yes, yes, another sheath for her penis, a vagina. I needed a vulva and a vagina. I’d ask the Estrella if it could be done. It’d just be a fleshy appendage, of course, the real vulva is in the mind. I’d be a man with a vulva, perfectly paired to a woman with a penis. I got excited.

I was also excited about something else. I had a special surprise for PerfectPenis the next morning.

End of book content.


I welcome all constructive criticism and commentary of any aspect of the story, from grammar and spelling errors to coherency problems within the narrative. If you’d like to comment on the story, use the (moderated) comments form. For all other communication with the author, send a message via the contact link at the top of the page. Please don’t spam or troll, your comments will never become visible.

If you’d like an email notice of the posting of each section of the book, please sign-up on the upper right side of this page. I promise you will never be spammed nor will I ever pass your contact information to anyone else.

If you enjoyed reading this piece of the Pleasing María novel, please share it with your friends.

All the contents of this web site are Copyright © 2015, 2016, 2017 by Guy Ordinary, all rights reserved. The contents have been registered as a published work with the U.S. Copyright Office.

Chapter 27, Part 1 – Little Stars

This is chapter 27, part 1 of the Pleasing María novel. If you are under 18 years of age, or are offended by explicit descriptions of sexual activity or violence, or by strong language, please exit this site immediately. To view the Table of Contents of the novel click here. To go directly to the first chapter, click here. To read the latest novel post, click here. This is a rough second draft.


Chapter 27, Part 1 – Little Stars

Life with the Estrella continued to improve. She was now in her last semester of residency, supervising other students, with shorter hours and was happy all the time. Her goal was within sight, her personal life was in order, except for the lack of her own perfect penis. Her casual ‘penes’ and my mouth kept her sexual impulses well satisfied.

I noticed a change in her behavior – she seemed more serious about men than she had ever been, and she brought ‘sexual points’ to the house, most of them for me! I always remained partially clothed as I enjoyed these young women, and they certainly received a partial sexual education from my perfect mouth. I never tried to kiss the ‘points’, unless, of course they initiated the kiss, which happened occasionally in the heat of their orgasms. I thought they would find it repugnant to kiss an old man, just as I found it repugnant to kiss the Prof.

I made sure that not one vulva left my mouth un-satiated, and two of them began to reappear frequently and stay longer beyond the cleaning and kissing of their vulvae. They were magnificent sluts, attractive, intelligent, personable, and I called them the ‘estrellitas’ (little stars). They both asked to see my broken penis and empty scrotum. I had a clean, flat abdomen, which I kept completely free of pubic hair.

The estrellitas asked about my life with the Estrella, my marriage with María, they looked at my testicles in the jar; they talked about their lives, their studies, their men, everything. I began to get attached to them, to sense their Female, their Isis, beneath the doctor persona.

Then I understood what was happening–the Estrella was preparing to launch her normal life as a doctor, with a normal family, and she was prepping her replacement for me. These women were looking for the help, stability, financial support, and no-commitment orgasms that I had provided for the Estrella. It was inevitable that I would lose the Estrella someday, but now was too soon. My heart began breaking while she was still with me, and I began to dwell on María again.

But eventually, acceptance found me, and I began to think about, to chose between these new women, comparing their personalities, facial and body features, sexiness. I thought how lucky I was to be an old, ugly castrated man and still have the option of these young beautiful women. I realized my broken penis was a primary point in my favor–there’s a big difference between accepting the penis or accepting the mouth of an old man in the vulva and vagina. If I could get an erection, I’d have to pay dearly for the company of women like these, I couldn’t afford it.

My next café meeting with María was a shocker – she wore heavy makeup, attempting to conceal a bruise on her cheek. PP hit her after he demanded again that she stop fucking the Black Guy, and she had reminded him that he was flaccid the night before. She had moved to the little attached house and she refused to see PP. I joked, in poor taste, that the last time that a man hit her, she went out of circulation for over three decades. María looked at me strangely, curiously, and asked, “You didn’t know it was the same man?” I laughed and thought about my impulse to find and punch him back then – how might that have changed our future?

I pleaded with her to return to me–she could divorce PP and return with me to Guanajuato. We would start by going to Antigua, to the Tanque de la Unión where we’d swear our marriage vows anew and annul her indigenous marriage to PP. We would return to GTO and marry there in the church. If not there, we’ll go to the US and marry. It’d be like it always had been before–she’d have lovers and she’d have my mouth to please her.

She said I didn’t understand, it was too late. All I had to do was stay with her in Guanajuato the last time and work it out. I had given her away again. She would never let that happen again, never.

She shocked me further by telling me she had never legally married PP that she had never divorced me! She never signed the divorce decree–we were still married! Now she had something very important to tell me. My entire being leaped into pure joy–we were still married, she wanted me back! I held my breath, waiting for her to say those magic words that would return my wife to me. And then she spoke, “My black lover stays with me nearly every night and I love him deeply. I’m going to move in with him in Ciudad Vieja.”

I laughed out loud and María thought I was laughing at her. For a moment, I wished I still had my testicles, so I could cut them off right there in front of her. Of course, she could never have a man without a great penis, what was I thinking? María’s desire seemed to follow the largest hormone donor of the moment.

I told her congratulations, that I would do anything possible to help her, to please her. I told her I had greatly developed my abilities to please the vulva with my lips and tongue–if she ever wanted to supplement the Black Guy’s penis with a perfect mouth, she could call me immediately to her vulva. I knew this black man wouldn’t last more than a few years with María, he was much younger and there were 2-3 generations of beautiful Guatemalan girls coming up behind María. Eventually, even her elegant, mature beauty would turn with age. Maybe I could be the perfect mouth to complement another man’s penis for María sometime before we died.

When I got back to the apartment, I called some friends in Antigua and did some research on PP. I decided to give him a special gift for hitting María. He opened up the possibility that I’d get her back again.

But María’s new man, Black Guy, crushed my hopes. I knew then I’d never get her back. I believed, and accepted my destiny. I felt nothing, no pain, no joy, no dark volcano, nothing. The black void had won, swallowed me entirely. Blissfully numb, too numb even to take my life, the effort was too great, and the Estrella propped me up unknowingly. Had she known, she would have been kind, she would have taken my life as she promised, she loved me.

A week later, the two new estrellitas showed up together at our apartment. The Estrella and the estrellitas sat down together with me for a serious discussion. The estrellitas had decided to become roommates. They had rented a three bedroom apartment, and they invited me to join them. I told the Estrella that I loved her deeply, so deeply that I would let her go to her new life without a fuss, as long as she’d let me pay the expenses of her last months of residency.

It wasn’t going to be too hard for me really. The lecher, the dirty old man in me was already scheming about the two new, fresh vulvae. The shocker was that all three women wanted me to move within a week, and they gave me the keys. They had already planned a moving-on party for me for the next night. In my honor, all of the invited guests would be women, some would be women that the Estrella had brought over the months to ‘point’ with me. And they had a very special surprise for me.

And I needed to move-up PP’s surprise gift before I moved.

End of book content.


I welcome all constructive criticism and commentary of any aspect of the story, from grammar and spelling errors to coherency problems within the narrative. If you’d like to comment on the story, use the (moderated) comments form. For all other communication with the author, send a message via the contact link at the top of the page. Please don’t spam or troll, your comments will never become visible.

If you’d like an email notice of the posting of each section of the book, please sign-up on the upper right side of this page. I promise you will never be spammed nor will I ever pass your contact information to anyone else.

If you enjoyed reading this piece of the Pleasing María novel, please share it with your friends.

All the contents of this web site are Copyright © 2015, 2016, 2017 by Guy Ordinary, all rights reserved. The contents have been registered as a published work with the U.S. Copyright Office.

Chapter 26, Part 4 – María Assaulted

This is chapter 26, part 4 of the Pleasing María novel. If you are under 18 years of age, or are offended by explicit descriptions of sexual activity or violence, or by strong language, please exit this site immediately. To view the Table of Contents of the novel click here. To go directly to the first chapter, click here. To read the latest novel post, click here. This is a rough second draft.


Chapter 26, Part 4 – María Assaulted

In one of these coffees with María and the Estrella, I noticed a man staring at me. After a few minutes he appeared at the table and asked if I was the Guy that had produced the system software for ‘XYZ’ company. He had seen my photos in some of the articles published by the company in engineering journals. He would love to talk with me, so I sort of annoyingly invited him to sit, and he called over his wife.

She looked warily at María and the Estrella and deduced quickly María was my wife. When I presented María as my ex, and the Estrella as my current companion, she relaxed–she didn’t want to compete with María, but the Estrella was within her range. They surely thought I was in a mid-life crisis, and I had grabbed a young woman to get my youth back.

The man was an engineer at my former company. He was on the team of system and software folks that maintained my software I had leased to the company. He was dying to talk shop but the women would have none of that. We were soon engaged in an animated discussion of arts, salsa dancing, political gossip, and crepe recipes, joking and laughing and toasting with Antiguan coffee–the beautiful musical prattle of women in their comfort zone.

But I felt uneasy, something was wrong. I realized this couple thought I was quite normal. Every since my castration, I thought of myself as a cripple, as horribly damaged, my defects obvious to the entire world. My usual companions, the Estrella, María, the med students, the Prof, all knew about my condition and it reflected in our relationship. This couple saw me fully clothed, sitting with two beautiful women in a café, knew I was a successful engineer, thought I was perfectly normal and treated me as a special person, meaningful in their lives. What a rush!

Another aspect of the tyranny of great beauty is it distorts all social relationships. María’s beauty and sensuality grabbed directly at the groins of men. It hurt them to see her, and their spouses could feel their men’s longing for her. The men resented I possessed her, at least nominally, and the women feared they could lose their partner to her in an instant. So even small talk with other folks was strained. I never realized this before, I thought it was normal.

The couple treated me strangely, with deference and respect–with reverence. I couldn’t make out what was going on when it struck me. They owed their upper middle-class life to me, to my software. When we were finally allowed to talk shop, he said he had never seen software designed as I had done. He was part of a team of three full-time engineers that maintained my system and adapted it to new hardware. None of the group had ever figured-out the overall architecture of my system. He said I was a genius. My vocabulary is inadequate to tell you how that made me feel, I was flooded with … something. I was valuable!

They invited us for dinner, María demurred, and we scheduled around the Estrella’s residency schedule. Several days later, the Estrella and I went to their house–it was a party with several couples, about half associated with the engineering company. The technical people hung on to me like leeches, listening to every word. The Estrella loved the gathering–she was respected for finishing her medical studies, and was quite pretty but not too much to be a threat. She was expertly made-up by me and dressed-up sensually. I thought she was beautiful and had trouble keeping my eyes off her. I even felt some jealousy as other men teased and flattered her. If these folks knew of our true relationship, they would be horrified.

* * *

The Estrella and I always went early to our café meetings and, hidden across the street, we’d observe María arrive. María’s appearance stopped my breathe for a moment, my body trembling from a shot of adrenaline. The Estrella tolerated my locura (madness) but changed the administration of my testosterone dose to after these meetings.

This day, we lurked behind a pile of construction debris to watch María approach the café. A small double-seat motorcycle passed close by María and the rear rider grabbed María’s shoulder bag as the driver gunned the cycle. The bag’s strap caught María’s shoulder diagonally and spun her around and over backwards, pulling the rear rider heavily off the motorcycle. The cycle wavered then struck a car head-on and dumped about 25 feet beyond. The rear rider, gasping to recover his wind, rolled to his knees and struck at María while tugging at the bag under María’s body. Women screamed and people ran frantically. Waves of nausea flooded me, I toppled with vertigo and went black.

A sharp blow to my head brought me back. The Estrella bent over me, pulling me to her and an out-of-focus María screamed and flailed at a policeman who dropped his nightstick. The Estrella embraced me and asked if I was OK – I felt nothing but the throbbing of my head. The cop wrestled with María and she kneed him in the groin. I was splattered with blood – so were the Estrella AND MARIA! I focused on a young man a few feet away – his face and head bloodied.

Two more police ran up, one pinning María, and I struggled up and towards her. Something spun me around onto the hood of a car and steel bit into my wrists. I heard someone screaming, “María, María, …”, maybe it was me, and I went black again.

I returned to consciousness laying on a gurney in some primitive clinic. Both my hands were handcuffed to the gurney rails and I heard María and the Estrella arguing with a male voice. I drifted in-and-out then realized my hands were released. The Estrella helped me up and lead me tottering out to the street into a taxi. I must have been sedated, I awoke when the morning sun hit my face. I checked myself for damage – I had been cleaned-up and wore the Estrella’s ridiculously undersized pyjama shorts.

The Estrella came in at lunch time and she told me what had happened. When María was assaulted, I clambered over the pile of construction debris, picking up a large rock, and charged across the street. I grabbed the helmet of María’s assailant and pulled him away from María, pulling off his helmet. I sat on his body and beat him with the rock. Both María and the Estrella struggled to restrain me without effect. I had destroyed the thief’s face before a policeman arrived and clubbed me in the head.

María assaulted the cop, and we were both arrested. The two thieves were also arrested. I remembered nothing.

The Estrella located PerfectPenis–he arrived from Antigua about two hours later carrying our marriage certificate. The witnesses at the scene had enthusiastically lied about the violence of the thieves and PP paid a big bribe. María and I were released without charges.

Both thieves remained in custody. My beating target was in critical condition, mouth, jaw, nose and eyes destroyed, and might not survive. My hands hurt–I saw they were clenched and trembling. I wasn’t finished with the thief–I would kill him. How dare he presume to survive after assaulting María! The Estrella saw my rage building, and she commanded me into her, “Mírame a mi, …” She washed me clean for the moment.

The motorcycle driver had a long rap sheet and was summarily sentenced to ninety days in the federal penitentiary. I called the hospital daily for news about María’s assailant. Yes, he would survive and I was relieved–no further legal repercussions. I relaxed and resolved to put the event behind me. Then I received a call from the scumbag brother of the thief demanding an enormous sum of money or else. He threatened he knew how to find María and I, and his entire family wouldn’t rest until I paid up.

I went to the market at the bus station and bought half-a-dozen stolen cell phones. I contacted the sicario (hitman) I had once contracted to castrate PP–US$500 each for the parents and siblings. The sicario called the next day after checking–seven hits for US$3,500 total. That was much cheaper than the extortion demanded and a definitively final solution to the problem. Perhaps the best investment I ever made–the thief would be left blind, without family, crippled, impoverished, a short life of misery. As an afterthought, I added US$100 for cutting off his penis. I wanted him to have no pleasure in his life ever again. The sicario gave me an approximate date, and I destroyed that cell phone.

I arranged a tour to see orchids in Cobán. I told the Estrella and María I needed to get away to de-stress from the incident and I went on the tour. I watched the papers every day, saw nothing, and had to stay a few extra days, so I took another tour from Cobán to the beautiful thermal pools at Semuc Champey. I finally received a phone call from the sicario–the deed was done. He crowed about the penis amputation–it was simple. The thief was handcuffed to his bed and heavily sedated. The sicario simply walked in, snipped off his penis without a flinch from the thief, ripped off the monitoring sensors, and walked out. He threw the penis into a gutter. I destroyed another cell phone.

The news of the discovery of the bodies was reported in the Prensa Libre by the same reporter that covered the assault on María. He astutely connected the penis amputation with the murder of the thief’s family, and wrote a soppy wail about the lack of social justice in Guatemala. After I returned to Guatemala City, I received a courtesy visit from a detective. He took my story about my trip to Cobán, commented the thief’s family all had criminal records, and I never heard back from him.

I began to mull about the motorcycle driver–he had participated in the attack on María. I arranged with the sicario to amputate his penis inside the penitentiary. Another hundred dollars plus a carton of cigarettes, a vial of meth, and a cell phone for an imprisoned friend of the sicario. Prison violence isn’t reported in Guatemala, so I had to take the word of the sicario the amputation was completed.

I later received a visit from the mother of the motorcycle driver. She was a humble and simple woman, honest and hardworking, trying to raise her children, educate them and keep them out of trouble. She had guessed I might have had something to do with the disappearance of the other boy’s family, and she wanted to assure me her family posed no risk to me or María. I learned from her that her son, the motorcycle driver, had been gang-raped and killed with a shiv to the liver. His genitals were stuffed in his mouth.

End of book content.


I welcome all constructive criticism and commentary of any aspect of the story, from grammar and spelling errors to coherency problems within the narrative. If you’d like to comment on the story, use the (moderated) comments form. For all other communication with the author, send a message via the contact link at the top of the page. Please don’t spam or troll, your comments will never become visible.

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Chapter 26 – Part 3, Mutual Treason

This is chapter 26, part 3 of the Pleasing María novel. If you are under 18 years of age, or are offended by explicit descriptions of sexual activity or violence, or by strong language, please exit this site immediately. To view the Table of Contents of the novel click here. To go directly to the first chapter, click here. To read the latest novel post, click here. This is a rough second draft.


Chapter 26 – Part 3, Mutual Treason

The Estrella watched the videos of the San Francisco politician, the Pol, with me in her apartment and she was fascinated by María’s affair with the Pol. I explained everything as truthfully as I could, but the big hole in my story was the break-up of María and the Pol.

In our next café meeting with María, the Estrella asked what had happened on that last night. María replied,

“When I arrived at his condo, there was a lobbyist there from a big public employees’ union. He said I was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, and he was going to fuck me. It wasn’t a question or a request, but a statement of fact. The Pol had already sold me.

“I didn’t mind at the moment, I was so happy the Pol still wanted me. But the lobbyist wanted a girl-on-girl show first. The Pol called for another girl, and we did coke and I stripped-teased for them while we waited. When the girl arrived … guess who it was? No? No guesses? The senate president’s wife, the 2nd lady! We stripped-teased each other very erotically. She had a great body for her age. We did the normal kissing, nipples, fingering, etc. And then a long 69.

“The lobbyist got so hot he fucked me right on the carpet. He shot faster than you, then we watched the Pol fuck the 2nd Lady. We coked-up some more and the Pol took her all the way into the Ride. She squealed when he ass-fucked her, probably her first time.

“The lobbyist got hard again and ass-fucked me, then went to sleep on the floor before he could fuck the 2nd Lady. The Pol took photos of everyone and told me I was the ‘million dollar baby’. Now I knew what the 2nd Lady meant when she said we were all prostitutes.

“The Pol showed me then what my new future with him would be like. We moved into a bedroom and did our normal ride stuff. I didn’t see the others again, but I heard noises that could have been fucking.”

The Estrella asked, “He sold you for a million dollars, then he dumped you?”

“He was going to dump me anyway after he found I had a child. The lobbyist probably demanded me for the donation, so he used me that last time, lied about marrying me, and disappeared. It almost killed me, but looking back now, I glad I didn’t go with him. He would have sold me again and again. I was willing to be his hooker, but he never would have married me. He would have dumped me for a younger woman after he wore me out.”

Coming clean is always a bad idea, I don’t know what possessed me to do it then. I said,

“I have something to confess to you. I setup the discovery of Brett by the Pol. I disabled the Nanny’s phone antenna so she wouldn’t get your messages or calls.”

“You swore you had nothing to do with that, and I believed you. How could you play with my emotions like that–I loved him and was going to marry him.”

“And I loved you and all’s fair in love and war. You always said you wanted a man who would fight for you. Well, I fought for you and kept you. There are many ways to fight for a woman.”

“Well, at least you fought for me that one time, usually you were willing to give me away…”

I couldn’t think of any rebuttal.

The Estrella turned the conversation to María’s gang rape–she simply didn’t believe my account of the story.

María said, “I’ve never told Guy or anyone this part of the story. At the convenience store before we went to Terri’s house, Larry came to talk to me at the car window and said, ‘I had no idea Guy had such a luscious wife–you look incredibly delicious-I’d sure like to see what’s below that skirt.’

María looked past me as she related the story, “I was in full prick-teasing heat, and I knew we’d drive away and never see him again, so I raised my skirt, opened my legs and I kept them open until I saw you come out of the store. I asked Larry if he saw anything he liked, and he said he could see everything and he liked everything he saw.

“I looked down and I saw I was wet, and my lace panty was almost transparent, I was practically nude. Even so, I didn’t close my legs until you came out. I was shocked when you invited Larry to come along and I felt guilty about provoking him so blatantly, so I never mentioned it to you. Actually, I was really mad at you because you had invited him to Terri’s after I had totally flashed him.

“At Terri’s party, I thought the young guy hitting on me was cute and I wanted him to fuck me, but he didn’t try hard enough. I let him get very close to my pussy, and all he had to do was push through. I had already let him uncover my boobs without fuss hoping he’d get excited. I only pushed his hand away when you were watching, when not, I opened my legs but he never moved-in. I would have taken him to a bedroom on the pretext of going out to the BBQ and fucked him silly. But the guy kept going for drinks every time I opened her legs–I wasn’t drinking mine, so he drank them instead. I was being risky with the guy because I thought Larry was telling you everything I did with him.

“Larry saw everything–I made sure he got good views of my pussy. I was mad at you for leaving me alone on the couch with the young guy while he stripped me nude, and you were just talking boring shop stuff with Larry.

“I waited for the guy to finger me for a while. I was going to take him to a back bedroom and fuck him. I guess I should add, without a condom.”

I said, “But you were in your fertile days.”

“Yes.”

“You wanted him to make you pregnant? A complete stranger? What about me, your husband?”

“Hardly a stranger. He had his hands all over and in me that day. And he looked like he had good genes.”

I was shocked into silence.

María continued, “I knew I had been gang-fucked; a sharp pain brought me to half consciousness for a few moments and I saw you standing to my side while I felt another penis stroking me.

“I knew I was impregnated that day and always wondered who the father of our son might be. I thought maybe the young guy was part of the gang-fuck, and hoped he was the father, but I was afraid to find out for sure. I also thought Larry had been part of the gang but I didn’t know my cervix had been penetrated.

“Months after the party, I asked Terri about that evening and Terri broke down, cried, and told me all the details. Her boyfriend, Drew, was too different from our son, and the young guy hadn’t fucked me so I knew either Larry or you were the father. I felt guilty about provoking Larry so intensely and felt I had implicitly given him permission to fuck me. At the convenience store, as you came out to the car, I told Larry, ‘Well, maybe someday I’ll let you take me out for a ride.’ I wasn’t upset about the gang-fuck itself, I always thought I would eventually fuck all the men in the gang anyway.”

María didn’t say if she preferred Larry or me for the father, and I was certainly afraid to ask.

María continued, “Terri also told me how exposed I had been that day. Terri cried when she told me my pussy was mostly exposed, and everyone at the party, men and women, had seen everything. The exposure itself didn’t bother me–what upset me was it was in front of all those cold, frigid, sterile, repressed, moralizing, hypocritical, pale-skinned ‘gringa‘ women.”

I said, “Well, you did get pregnant that day, or the next morning when I fucked you awake.”

María said, “Well, when Terri told me about the rape, I hoped it had been the young guy. I wanted the young guy to fuck me right there on the couch in front of you. I pretended to be drunk and passed-out to make it easier for him. When I saw the stupid clod was going to pass out, I decided to go for Larry. I shifted my legs so Larry could see better, then I helped the guy get his hand in my panty. He wiggled his hand in and stretched my panty, that’s when he tore it. Larry saw everything.”

“You were conscious the whole time?”

“Yes, woozy but conscious. When you left to take the guy out, I pretended to come-to for a moment, and I slurred to Larry, ‘You’re going to ride me now, aren’t you?’ Then I ‘passed-out’ again. I thought Larry would just fuck me there laying on the couch. I wanted him to be between my legs when you returned. But he moved me around to the back. I never thought it’d be a gang-fuck. I was surprised when Drew and you joined in to fuck me, but I didn’t mind, I wanted to get pregnant. I could hardly jump up and say, ‘Surprise, I know what you’re doing.’ after Larry finished. You know the rest of the story.”

“I thought all these years we raped you. So did Terri and Drew. The rape really disturbed Terri, screwed-up her life for months. It twisted me up with guilt. I got a vasectomy…”

“You should have felt guilty, you did rape me, and you let those others rape me. What kind of husband is that! You should have felt guilty. I despised you for not telling me the truth. The gang-fuck changed our relationship forever.”

“You should have told me how much you wanted to get pregnant, by me. Or why didn’t you just lie to me, tell me you weren’t fertile and accidentally get pregnant by me?”

“You would have wanted an abortion. With the gang-fuck, I got my pregnancy and you couldn’t stop it.”

“I was changing by then, thinking about children. You could have convinced me to have a baby then.”

“Maybe so. When Brett was born, even before, when I was pregnant, I saw you change. You wanted me more. And when Brett was born, you wanted both of us badly and treated me better than I thought possible for any man. But I still hadn’t forgiven you completely, so when the Pol came along, I jumped at him for the promise of the Ride. He was so dangerous for me.”

“So aren’t you curious about who won the sperm lottery?”

“No.”

“It was me.”

“Well, it all worked out perfectly, didn’t it!”

* * *

That night, on the fourth Level of Hades, by the stiffening of her abdominal muscles, I knew the Estrella would go all the way to Level Seven. Until among Josey’s whisperings, “… the rape was a setup…”, I bolted upright while the Estrella cried, “No te pares, no te pares…” (Don’t stop,…) I dived back into her vulva, but we never got beyond Level Four. Later I explained PP said the gang-rape was a setup, but I knew that couldn’t be true.

At our next meeting, I asked María. After a silent moment, she said, “The young guy had already passed-out. I forced his hand into my panty and pushed his finger into my vagina. That’s when I tore my panty. I made an obvious show of it.”

“Why?”

“I wanted Larry to see, I knew I could get him to fuck me. I wanted him to know I was faking so he’d know he could fuck me. When you went to get a camera, I asked him if he was going to ride me. He said we needed to get rid of you for a few minutes. When you left to take the young guy out to the car, Larry said he wanted me from the back, he had something special for me.

“He was so excited, I figured he wouldn’t last long, so I blew him first. I was right, he squirted within a few seconds. I pumped him up again for a longer fuck, I wanted him inside me when you returned. By the way, that’s when I saw his unusual penis, long and narrow. When I saw the same penis on Brett, I knew who actually won the sperm lottery.

Anyway, I walked around to the back of the couch and got in the position you saw me. You should have known, there’s no way he could’ve handled the dead weight of an unconscious person into that position. He fucked me thoroughly–I was sure I’d be pregnant after that. I had no idea the group-fuck would happen, but I was OK with that too. With three men, one of them was sure to hit the jackpot. You could have lined-up more men and I’d have taken them too.”

“You didn’t care who impregnated you, your own husband wasn’t good enough for you.”

“Afterward, I was glad you thought you won the sperm lottery. You really changed, you became a man to me. The years of my pregnancy and baby Brett were the best years of our lives. Until we fought about your vasectomy. You always managed to screw-up our best times.”

Now, I was silent. We looked deep into each other, me pleading for forgiveness and her rejecting it. I excused myself, went to the bathroom and vomited. When I returned, María had left.

* * *

At our next meeting, we intuitively decided to move on, to softer adventures in our history. María mentioned Brett’s wife, Rosa, “I suspected from the beginning the young woman in the bus station was Rosa. By her dress and attitude, I knew Rosa was a slut even before the other kid successfully hit on her.”

“Why did you encourage my relation with Rosa?”

“I wanted to protect our son from her, and make sure you knew how slutty she was. We would taint Rosa and force her away from our son. I thought you were bored and I could use your boredom as a trap for Rosa. I thought a cheating experience might help you realize the power in your penis–you just needed attitude to man-up. And after your various experiences with Drew, I was thinking Rosa might further addict you to the vulva and stay clear of penises.”

“You were just manipulating me…”

The Estrella laughed, “Men are so easy to manipulate, they always lead with their penis.”

María admitted, “Sure, I was using you, but I certainly didn’t hear any complaints then, you were fucking Rosa like a rabbit.”

“Yeah, I guess, but your plan failed. Rosa was also using me and her vulva was stronger than your scheming.”

“I also failed to keep you away from men. I hated what you did with the men at PerfectPenis’ parties. I threatened PP to make your sex with these men your choice, then finally, I stopped the parties. Even though you were crippled, I knew how you loved women, and I couldn’t understand how you could enjoy sex with men. I rationalized you did it under PP’s influence, and you didn’t really like it…”

I interjected, “Of course I was in PP’s control, every since our confrontation in San Pedro at lake Atitlán. At first, I did detest it but I deliberately immersed myself in sex with those men for the camera to please you, to free you from me. You clearly wanted PP more than me. Afterward, I came to enjoy it as that was all I had left.”

María still didn’t know PP had pimped me, and I didn’t tell her.

María replied, “I wish I had known sooner about San Pedro, I would have done things differently. Even before then, I tried to get you to fight for me. When we went to Antigua that time and you discovered my very used lingerie collection, I wanted you to take control. I argued for continuing with PP but I really wanted you to assert our rules about long-term lovers and forbid me to see him in spite of my arguments. You wimped-out.”

“I just wanted to please you…”

“I was afraid PP might overwhelm me so much I would decide to leave you, and I didn’t want that. But you wimped-out.”

“You let PP make videos of sex with him and PP used the videos to break me down. Then he trapped me with his damned penis and tried to crush my genitals at the lake.”

“And you helped him.”

“It was too late, he owned me and you too.”

María continued, “The other time I tried to turn you around was when we fucked close up right in your face. That was my idea–I wanted you to understand exactly what you were losing. I wanted you to see how PP was winning me away from you. I hoped the close-up fuck would inspire you to grow a penis, man-up, and reclaim me.”

“I always thought it was PP’s doing to humiliate and break me … you didn’t know the whole story between PP and me, so your scheme back-fired–it caused me to surrender you to PP as his perfect match. It also made me crave castration by PP more.”

“I had no idea PP intended to castrate you then and even less idea you wanted it also. I wanted and needed a husband, you, with a fully functional penis, and was shocked later when I realized PP had already mangled your genitals right in front of me.”

We stared at each other, this time her eyes pleaded for forgiveness, and I granted it. She left our meeting crying, and the Estrella looked at me like I was truly insane.

* * *

At our next meeting, the Estrella asked María about her lovers in Guanajuato, Mark and Jenny.

María replied, “Physically and attitudinally, Mark was no better than Guy. He had the advantage of youth in his prick size and energy levels. But he was another weak man and I wondered if the American culture had feminized all its men. But Mark’s semen was special, it gave me an intense hormone high with every shot.”

I commented, “You probably don’t know how Mark connected with you…”

“I knew you sent Mark to seduce me, Mark told me in a moment of heat when he was trying to persuade me to leave you. I thought you did that in revenge for PP, and I was proud you had finally taken a stand.

“And, the truth is I enjoyed him immensely. I deliberately held back from hooking him because of the age difference but I managed him for easy access to his prick, yet not so deeply to cause him to leave his fiancée. And he introduced me to Jenny.”

The Estrella asked, “Guy told me about Jenny, and she really surprised me, I had never imagined you so hooked on a woman. What was that all about?”

“I thought my vulva, actually all vulvae, were ordinary and unattractive even though Guy told me hundreds of times it was beautiful–husbands are expected to say these things. Many of my male lovers had refused to kiss my vulva, like it was dirty and undesirable.”

I cursed, “Puta madre, what fools they were…”

María continued, “Jenny told me I had the most beautiful vulva she had ever seen, and she’d seen dozens. As I kissed Jenny’s vulva, I desperately wished I had a penis, and then I realized my own power, the power of the vulva. Jenny pulled me emotionally through her vulva into her soul. Jenny’s strong desire for me astonished me–it was super sexy knowing I was wanted and loved, and I reciprocated, desiring and loving Jenny, if just for that intimate moment.”

The Estrella asked, “Have you had other women since then?”

“I have an occasional woman lover, not really a relationship, just the raw sex that satisfies my odd desires for immersion into a vulva. My lesbian experiences caused me to realize not every sexual activity between two women or two men break the natural affinity between man and woman, and my distaste of homosexuals is pretty much gone. The only act that still bothers me some is emotional bonding through male anal sex. But I guess I don’t care much about that anymore. Except it hurt me to see Guy change over so eagerly, like he was rejecting women, even me. Now I know why, and I feel guilty about that, about a lot of things.”

I lamented, “Yeah, we screwed-up a great relationship… can we get that back?”

“No, it can never happen again.”

End of book content.


I welcome all constructive criticism and commentary of any aspect of the story, from grammar and spelling errors to coherency problems within the narrative. If you’d like to comment on the story, use the (moderated) comments form. For all other communication with the author, send a message via the contact link at the top of the page. Please don’t spam or troll, your comments will never become visible.

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Chapter 26 – Part 2, Testosteronic Zombies

This is chapter 26, part 2 of the Pleasing María novel. If you are under 18 years of age, or are offended by explicit descriptions of sexual activity or violence, or by strong language, please exit this site immediately. To view the Table of Contents of the novel click here. To go directly to the first chapter, click here. To read the latest novel post, click here. This is a rough second draft.


Chapter 26 – Part 2, Testosteronic Zombies

Our biweekly meetings became every week. They were therapeutic for me and I sensed both María and the Estrella found them soothing and relaxing. Seeing María was still painful for me, but I never made a scene or begged her, I was permanently damaged and I wanted María to be happy.

Rosa and my son had their first baby. From the photos, my granddaughter was as beautiful as a baby can be. I couldn’t tell if she resembled my son or Rosa most, so I thought our son might indeed be the father. María and I were stuck in Guatemala, so it would be awhile before we could visit them in Monterrey, Mexico. Rosa and Brett sent us photos of the baby almost daily. I was immediately fond of her, really quite in love with her. I resolved to help them care for her and protect her from the predator penises, like I had been, later in her life. One photo showed the baby’s tiny perfect vulva with the same proportions as María’s, and I was again taken by the beauty of the life creation force of Female.

* * *

María talked about the way men had abused me when they fucked her in our apartment after the dances, about how she had intuitively recognized the power and violence inherent within the penis. She said, “It’s natural for one man to dominate the other. The competition among the men produced more hormones and energy and made the prize, me, more valuable. Their testosterone increased my sexual drive as well as the desperation of the man to drive his penis into me.”

María confessed, “The violence of my lovers’ abuse of your genitals excited me to crazy orgasms. I couldn’t stand it. I told them to destroy your ‘huevos‘ (eggs/balls) and I’d stay with them forever.”

“I always suspected you were goading them…”

“But then I’d look at you sitting at the foot of the bed with the biggest hard-on, like it doubled in size, ready to explode from watching those guys fuck me, and I stopped them just in time because I’d be the target of your hard-on next. And of course, because you were my husband.”

“You didn’t stop DeepThroat, you helped him! You struck my testicles yourself.”

“That doesn’t count. I was in love with him and he promised me a family.”

I flashed back to Zihuatenejo, stiffened as I relived Flacucho’s long fingers crushing my testicles, my back and neck arched backwards in helpless agony, “Or Flacucho in Zihua…”

“You can’t blame that one on me, that was years later and you were stupid enough to play his game.”

The Estrella interjected, “What! What’s this in Zihua?”

I said, “It’s a long story, I’ll tell you later.”

María replied, “What’s so long about it? It was a castration contest among testosteronic zombies–the winner got to fuck me. Eleven men lost their balls for a chance to fuck me, if you can imagine that! Another five or six lost for the other girls there.”

I said, “Well, they deserved it, there’s no end to the stupidity of testosterone. But you manipulated me into playing…”

“That was one time I really wanted you to lose, I enjoyed watching Flacucho crush your balls, my orgasm almost blew me apart!”

The Estrella stared at María, her mouth dropped, not believing what she’d heard. I stuttered, “But I was your husband…”

“I don’t expect you to understand what it means to a woman to have a man want you so badly he’ll even castrate your husband to get you.” María looked at the Estrella, “I’m sure Estrella knows the feeling.”

Silence. Minutes of silence.

The Estrella broke the ice. I had previously told the Estrella about the Castration Game and now she wanted María’s perspective, “What about the Castration Game? What Guy described was insane!”

I jumped-in, “That period was the hottest sex we ever experienced.”

Maria replied, “Those men jilted me after what I thought were fantastic sexual sessions. I thought my fucking techniques and desirability were slipping, so I worked hard to improve, to make each fuck earthshaking for the man. I practiced on Guy…”

“And how! It was earthshaking…”

María said, “You liked that? You were just the quick practice, a perfect dummy because you were an early shooter. I figured if I could control your ejaculations, I could control any man–my lovers got the real thing. But then they always disappeared…”

“Of course, I watched how serious you got with them, then I threatened them. I told them I’d expose the affairs to their wives and relatives.”

Maria glared at me and we squirmed in silence, “I didn’t think you had it in you to do something like that. How dare you mess with my relationships like that!”

I said, “But you were trying to replace me. All’s fair in love and war.”

The Estrella giggled and burst out laughing. I loved that girl. Maria softened then laughed, then started crying, leaning against me, “How could we have been so insane?”

How indeed! I said, “It was exciting, wasn’t it?”

“You wouldn’t understand how PP makes me crazy, but in truth, he’s boring. We’re boring compared to what I lived with you.” Her voice trailed off, she muttered in English, “I miss that, I miss you.”

This was the first sign of regret I ever heard from her. The first chink in her armor. My body practically cramped with hope–I would get her back, I knew it.

I wanted to steer María away from PP, point out his flaws, so I joked, “I guess the Pol was the only man that could actually do you an all-nighter.”

María corrected, “No, José did me all night the night he saved me at the club, and he didn’t need drugs. And if women count, the strip-tease artist at the Antigua club did me all night. The Photog almost counts too–he intermixed sex, photo shoots, and naps over 12-16 hours. And tattoo Pablo did a credible job, lasting until 5AM.”

I decided to drop that theme.

I lay awake all that night, remembering and reliving those trysts with María. Every touch, every look, her hair, her words, especially her words, how she cajoled and flattered me. With a shock I realized her words had all been ego-stroking–my ego. Can all men be so shallow, or is it just me?

I resolved to bring up our wild adventures in future meetings, simply reminding her of the excitement of our lives together. It was a dagger I could stick into her, not into her genitals but into her heart.

* * *

In our next meeting, the Estrella said, “The club owner said José had told him you worked his strip club in Guate City.”

They looked at each other warily, this must have been something María never wanted to reveal, and she didn’t know what the Estrella knew.

María said, “I lived with José in Antigua while José worked in Guatemala City in a different club. He sometimes took me there. I stripped, pole danced and lap danced.”

She continued to look at the Estrella who met her gaze, “The Antigua club was more interesting then, after I stripped at the pole, I fucked some of the men for money, sometimes on their laps, sometimes in my apartment. José was my pimp. He said he didn’t want me to do it, but he was no better at controlling me than you, so he pimped me to ‘protect’ me, he said. I was already treated like the town whore so I thought, why not act like it. My lap dances were very popular.”

I couldn’t breathe, I managed to squeak out, “José was supposed to protect you. You didn’t need to do that, I would have sent you all the money you needed, you knew that. Why?”

“It wasn’t for money, it was to punish them. I was the town whore, and I didn’t want to disappoint them. The men were the upright citizens of Antigua, the moral hypocrites. I did it to bring them down to my level. I was a stripper whore, just one step above a street whore. Even my brother came to watch me, hiding in the back. You should have seen his face when I danced. I sent José to bring him for a freebie lap dance.”

“You nude lap danced your brother?”

“More than that. I jerked him off right there in front of god and the town mayor. He was spurting almost before I got his prick out of his pants. He’s not my brother, he’s nothing to me, just another hypocritical john. I might have fucked him but he didn’t last long enough. It would have been worth it just to expose his hypocrisy.”

“The Estrella mumbled, “No wonder he hates you.”

I looked at María, this woman that had been my wife, the woman that I still loved, and wondered who she was. After a few moments of silence, I said, “I trusted José to take care of you.”

“Oh, he did. He fucked me every night, he was a great fuck.”

“You were my wife, you were supposed to be arranging our marriage here.”

She ignored that comment, “José disappeared when I gave him VD, and I never saw him again. I’d probably still be whoring in that club if he’d had stayed. Every man I’ve ever had has whored me out, including you, my Ex.”

María looked at the Estrella, “Is that what you wanted me to say?”

“No, I’m sorry I mentioned it. I didn’t know anything about that.”

There were a few more moments of silence, then the Estrella said, “Speaking of José, he did come back for you. The club owner said he was assaulted in Antigua. He was robbed and his genitals mutilated. He was in the hospital in Antigua, and someone from his family in Argentina came and got him.”

María turned pale, she asked, “Mutilated?”

“Yeah, his balls were crushed and had to be removed. His penis had been twisted and the top half was amputated.”

María turned green. She said, “I don’t feel well. Please excuse me now.”

After she left, I asked the Estrella, “Why didn’t you tell me this? You shouldn’t have told María, she’ll think it’s her fault. I hope she’s OK. Did they catch the guy that attacked José?”

“The club owner didn’t know. Don’t you wonder that his injuries sound like yours?”

“You mean PP assaulted him? Not likely, José was a big guy and a street brawler. PP could have never taken him. And he was robbed. Poor guy. But it worked out for me, I got María back to Mexico.”

“Yeah, but there was another man for a coupla’ months.”

“Well, she said he was a stripper, just an occasional fuck. I wonder if she kept working at the strip club. I’m not going to ask, please don’t ask her either. Let’s let that sleeping dog lie.”

“Guy, we need to talk. María is a whore, a gutter whore. Why do you want her so much?”

It’s my fault. It has to be my fault, I just don’t know why. Please help me get her back.”

End of book content.


I welcome all constructive criticism and commentary of any aspect of the story, from grammar and spelling errors to coherency problems within the narrative. If you’d like to comment on the story, use the (moderated) comments form. For all other communication with the author, send a message via the contact link at the top of the page. Please don’t spam or troll, your comments will never become visible.

If you’d like an email notice of the posting of each section of the book, please sign-up on the upper right side of this page. I promise you will never be spammed nor will I ever pass your contact information to anyone else.

If you enjoyed reading this piece of the Pleasing María novel, please share it with your friends.

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Chapter 26 – Part 1, Never Tell Your Woman…

This is chapter 26, part 1 of the Pleasing María novel. If you are under 18 years of age, or are offended by explicit descriptions of sexual activity or violence, or by strong language, please exit this site immediately. To view the Table of Contents of the novel click here. To go directly to the first chapter, click here. To read the latest novel post, click here. This is a rough second draft.


Chapter 26 – Part 1, Never Tell Your Woman…

A few weeks after I visited PP, I received a phone call from María. She said PerfectPenis had told her about my visit, about my testicle sculpture and PP had given her permission to talk to me again–we still had a son and financial assets in common. She said I shouldn’t interpret her contact incorrectly, she didn’t love me now. I told her I loved her intensely, and I told her about the Estrella. We talked for two hours about PP, our son, the Estrella, and the changes I had made to our finances. At the end, I told her how sorry I was I had neglected to see all of her. It was too late, of course, but I wanted to say it once. Her voice cracked as she said goodbye, and I regretted apologizing, I never wanted to upset her or make her sad.

We began to exchange emails 2-3 times per week, to talk by phone every week, and within a month, we began to meet for coffee every two weeks in public places. Although I still loved her, our talk was only the talk of good friends. I would go early to the appointments to watch her approach the door of the café from a hidden spot across the street. The elegance, beauty, and sensuality of the older, mature María still stopped my breathing, and I need a few minutes to calm myself before sitting with her.

María surprised me by confessing she had a lover, a black man a few years her junior. She met him 2-3 times per week in the little apartment attached to PP’s house where I stayed before moving to live with the Estrella. She said she was very attached to him, his technique of making love to her reminded her of the first black man of decades ago–the man that had fucked her in the salsa club dressing room.

She surprised me again by revealing PerfectPenis was not perfect anymore, he would occasionally be unable to get an erection, the eventual demise of all aging men. She said his problems had begun on his last birthday. I remembered how he had examined my testicle sculpture in his office and smiled to myself. I asked her if PP knew of her affair. She said yes, of course, the housemaid told him, and they argued about it constantly, but he couldn’t stop her. María had indeed broken PP as she had broken me.

María was intensely curious about the Estrella, wanted to meet her, so I asked if I could bring her to our meetings. In their first meeting, Maria and the Estrella got along OK, but some hidden tension weighed between them. Of the two, Maria was the more transparent and I noted flickers of desire sometimes as María talked with the Estrella. The Estrella put on the inscrutable doctor persona when needed and she was much harder to read.

The Estrella knew many of my secrets with Maria; perhaps she blamed Maria for my condition. Nothing could be further from the truth. Of course, what they both initially knew of each other came through my distorted lens.

In subsequent meetings, they relaxed more and settled into a normal catty relationships between women – the Estrella envied Maria’s beauty and grace; Maria envied the Estrella’s native intelligence and perhaps her unconditional loyalty to me. The Estrella fiercely defended me against any slight, real or perceived, and she went ballistic if María praised PP or mentioned ‘hot sex.’

I also sensed a latent sexual attraction between them – eye bats, soft touches, mirroring of gestures. When Maria left our table, the Estrella’s face wore the hang face of an abandoned puppy while her eyes strip-teased Maria’s clothes away.

The Estrella became our facilitator, mediator, counselor and psychologist, and referee. She rarely said much, overcome by the intensity of our relationship and experiences. With the Estrella as our buffer, we began to meet every week.

And this is how I learned María’s perspective on many of the events of our life was vastly different than mine. We began to wander over these events as the Estrella listened with incredibility. I asked María if I could ask her anything, and she agreed. And so I did.

* * *

I had always been curious about María’s women clients and lovers in San Francisco during those months as a prostitute–in particular, the Hispanic woman, María (nick-named María-lover). I asked, “What was so special about María-lover?”

“María-lover was more a soul mate than a lover. We were the same race, language, and culture with the same frustrations in life. We spent as much time together talking and joking and cuddling, as in sex.

“She was married to an American, a real nice, ordinary guy, barely adequate for her sexual drives. Her husband knew he had married above his grade and was jealous, often provoking fights with her over imagined affairs at her work. Otherwise, he was a good man and gave her the life she wanted. They were stable financially and he promised her children whenever she wanted; he was ready.”

“Sound almost perfect, if a little dull….”

“Well, he also had a kinky edge. He fantasized about his wife fucking other men, and told her she was a free woman, free to have lovers as long as she told him and followed his control.”

It was just man fantasy, of course, but I laughed when I heard that. “No man should ever tell his woman that–he’s likely to get what he fantasizes about!”

“She was fascinated and tantalized by my lifestyle and sexual freedom. She wanted to talk about it all the time. She’d never considered cheating her husband with another man, in spite of her sexual ‘freedom’, and she felt her sexual relationship with me wasn’t cheating.”

“Yeah, from how you talked about here, I thought you two loved each other, not in the ‘in love’ sense, as closest friends maybe.

“Well, the stories of my adventures corrupted her loyalties. A few weeks before we left San Francisco, I met her husband. He recognized me as the politician´s slut he had seen on TV, knew I was married to a white American, thought I had to be an easy slut, and he aggressively hit on me when he thought his wife wasn’t watching. She was.

“The next day, she asked me to help her have an affair, and I set her up with Satyr, that’s the black man from my apartments, Estrella, in case Guy never told you the story. Satyr was our Nanny’s lover. They used our house for their trysts. María-lover succumbed quickly to his sexual prowess. Once María-lover got a taste, she had other men, often with my help, and her marriage broke up, just as we left San Francisco. Her husband never knew what hit him – when she fulfilled his fantasy, he was crushed.”

“Yeah, I felt sorry for him, I doubted he’d ever find another woman like her.”

We talked about some of María’s other female lovers.

María said, “All my women clients had been married. I thought I was ‘in love’ with some of them, but the sex toys we used for fucking never satisfied me like a real penis. However, in the right circumstances with the right woman, I might go mainly for a woman, with an occasional penis on the side.”

The Estrella said, “It’s hard for me to think of you without a great penis, although I had a serious relationship with a woman before I met Guy.”

María conceded, “I’m tempted sometimes but I try to avoid starting anything with a woman – women are too dangerous for me, and I promised Guy years ago I’d stay away from women. You won’t believe PP recently told me I was free to have women as long as he could watch. Maybe he thinks a woman can take me away from my black man. Not a chance, I’d have both of them.”

End of book content.


I welcome all constructive criticism and commentary of any aspect of the story, from grammar and spelling errors to coherency problems within the narrative. If you’d like to comment on the story, use the (moderated) comments form. For all other communication with the author, send a message via the contact link at the top of the page. Please don’t spam or troll, your comments will never become visible.

If you’d like an email notice of the posting of each section of the book, please sign-up on the upper right side of this page. I promise you will never be spammed nor will I ever pass your contact information to anyone else.

If you enjoyed reading this piece of the Pleasing María novel, please share it with your friends.

All the contents of this web site are Copyright © 2015, 2016, 2017 by Guy Ordinary, all rights reserved. The contents have been registered as a published work with the U.S. Copyright Office.

Chapter 25 – Part 2, Death by Love

This is chapter 25, part 2 of the Pleasing María novel. If you are under 18 years of age, or are offended by explicit descriptions of sexual activity or violence, or by strong language, please exit this site immediately. To view the Table of Contents of the novel click here. To go directly to the first chapter, click here. To read the latest novel post, click here. This is a rough second draft.


Chapter 25 – Part 2, Death by Love

About 2 months after I began living with the Estrella, I told her I was ready for the genital amputation. She tried to convince me otherwise but I was adamant. I had to close that part of my life with PP in order to get free again – if he would have called me to his perfect penis again, I would have gone immediately. The Estrella re-assumed her doctor persona, asserted her dark heavy Male blood, and she scheduled me for surgery at a private clinic attached to a plastic surgeon she trusted. I chose my marriage anniversary date for the amputation. We went shopping for the perfect display bottle, then went to a jeweler to have the plaque engraved.

She asked about my testicles, and we sorted through my small box of miscellaneous possessions. It contained several DVDs of María’s sex-club dance videos, a zip-lock baggie containing María’s lace panty, two small vials containing my testicles in some sort of preserving liquid, and PP’s gift to me, the thin piano-wire garrote with which I was expected to lop off my genitals when he commanded.

There’s no need to be melodramatic about the genital amputation, I was physically castrated months before. It would be one hour of surgery to remove the fake testicles and most of the penis – the Estrella would do this work. Then three hours to reconstruct the skin and penis stub, the work of the plastic surgeon. I would spend about three weeks in rest and recovery, mostly in the Estrella’s second bedroom after I left the clinic.

The Estrella lied. The plastic surgeon replaced the small fake testicles with larger ones, then attempted to rebuild the sacs within the penis that should engorge and produce an erection. I was outraged until I saw the disappointment and hurt in the Estrella’s eyes. She did it with love and I forgave her. I accepted I could bear to live with my genitals until PP commanded me to amputate them with the wire garrote.

Five days after the operation, the Estrella gave me a hand-blown glass sculpture in the shape of my genitals, broken penis, elongated scrotum, glass bangles, distinctly separated glass bulbs as the scrotum containers for my testicles. Inside the bulbs bobbed the remnants of my real testicles in a preservative liquid. It was beautiful, a real work of glass artistry. I was immensely pleased. I put the sculpture on a bookshelf in the bedroom so I could see it at all times. Ten days after the operation, I was up and walking around normally. The Estrella said my straightened penis was cute, and I joined the Estrella in her bed again each night.

The operation was not successful – my penis was thinner, longer and straighter than before, but now, not even the first segment of my penis closest to my body would engorge. I was totally and permanently flaccid.

* * *

I chose PP’s birthday to visit him, carrying my genital sculpture, gift-wrapped in a box. I walked into his office, stared at him – he was uglier than ever and my face must have shown my hate for him. If he would have dropped his pants at that moment, I would have knelt naked in front of his genitals and kissed and sucked his testicles and penis to orgasm, pledging myself once again to him. I still lusted for that perfect penis.

We said and did nothing, then I handed him the gift box. He opened the top of the box, pulled out the sculpture, read the inscription, examined my testicles, and finally spoke. “You didn’t need to do this, María is mine, keep your testicles to remind you that you were once a man, and how I destroyed you.”

He returned the sculpture to the box and handed it back to me. I tossed the wire garrote on his desk, “Let me suck your penis one more time and I’ll use this now.”

“Get outa here, I don’t want your bloody mess on my floor. What will I do with your body, I’d have to throw you in a dumpster. Get out, you are released, you are free. And stay away from me and María.”

He turned his attention back to his work and ignored me. I ceased to exist for him. I left still full of hate but floating now above the hate, and the desire for his penis was gone. By the time I arrived back at the apartment, the hate was gone. María needed his perfect penis, and it was a small sacrifice I made to please her, I was happily deranged.

* * *

I was feeling ratty, laying in bed after the Estrella got up and went to the hospital. We had spent half the night rolling her through the seven levels of Hades, something that can only be done with the tongue and lips – no apologies to the penis. If you’ve never seen a woman incoherently moaning as the orgasmic convulsions roll through her body, the seventh level … well, too bad.

When we woke up this morning, she was crying that my penis reconstruction had failed – she knew how badly I wanted to fuck her. She said the trophy sculpture with my testicles was creepy. I was proud of it, it represented my defeat by a superior man, nothing to be ashamed of, but I decided to store it away. Then I thought of the Prof and impulsively called him. I hadn’t seen him in a long time, since my operation. Maybe he had heard about it from students. He was happy to hear from me, and the pleasure in his voice erased the ratty-ness, replacing it with a black tension in my groin.

“I’d like to come see you tonight, I have a gift for you. Maybe I can interest you in that swingy thing we used to do.”

“Absolutely, 8:00 PM, don’t be late. I have a lover now, he comes in at 11:00.”

I thought I’d give him an adrenalin hit. “Umm, not much time. If you still want to fuck me to death, tonight is the night, your last chance. Bring all your lefty colleagues, students, friends, neighbors – I’m a hard man to kill.”

A long silence, I could almost hear the gears turning in his head. Visualizing the body of his father rotting in a sewer. Surely calculating how many men it would take to burst my anus, to bleed the yanqui pig to death. I knew he was taking it seriously, so I added,

“Don’t forget my mouth, jam a big penis into my throat, I’ll choke and shake for 4-5 minutes, then it’s over.”

“Are you serious? You’ll fight, you’ll bite off the penis.”

The black tension in my groin ratcheted up a few notches. The conversation had become surreal, but he was serious. I was telling him how to kill me, we already had the time and place. Maybe I thought taking a woman into the seventh level of Hades was the apex of my life, nothing else left was worthwhile.

“You can tie me up, have your friends hold me down so everyone can see the convulsions. I swear I won’t bite. Or give me drugs or squeeze my neck arteries. This is real, it’s your fantasy made real. Revenge your father. Now or never.”

“Did you have an operation?”

“Yes.” Someone had already told him. He always liked playing with my broken penis. No more.

“What is my gift?”

“My testicles in a trophy sculpture. You can have your name engraved on the sculpture.”

“Come on over. We’ll do the swingy thing first. I’ll throat you alone, no witnesses. I wanted you to be my lover, you blew me off, I’ll enjoy killing you. What should I do with your body?”

“I won’t care. Make sure I can’t be identified, throw me in a sewer. Wait … no, my body has to be easily found and identified, and it can’t look like a suicide. That’s for the insurance for my family. The sewer part is OK if it makes you feel better.”

“You better be serious. If you come here, I’m going to kill you. Do you want some convulsive drugs? You’ll die squirming, but the convulsions will distract you from the choking. They add little pain but shake your whole body. How much pain do you want?”

“No, no extra pain, I want it to be my own pain, I have some debts to pay. Maybe you should bring some friends, some that hate gringos. The convulsions will excite them, they can ejaculate or urinate on me. I’m going to die, a little extra humiliation will be fun.” The black tension had spread from my groin over all my body. Now, I was dead serious and seriously excited. I wished I had someone I could tell, I was going to die in just a few hours, fucked to death by a perverted old man. There was no one. They would try to stop me, call the police, lock me up in a nut house.

“I’ll think about it. See you at eight, I’ll be ready.”

I spent the day pacing the apartment, visualizing my mouth skewered by his penis, my body flopping and shaking until I became completely still, completely at peace. I arrived at his place almost an hour early, bursting with excitement. The Prof was alone – he wanted no witnesses. He looked great – he had lost some weight and toned up, almost sexy for an old man.

The Prof handled my sculpture like it was fine crystal. He had already mounted a special mantle to display it in his bondage room. I disrobed and he examined my penis. He said it was beautiful and he wished he had done the operation. He sucked me to my last ejaculation.

It’s amazing what you’ll be willing to do in the last moments of your life. We had great sex. We deep kissed. I kissed his nipples, inside his ears and naval and armpits, reveling in the scents and tastes of the man. I licked the crack of his buttocks, then reamed his anus, my first time ever in the last moments of my life. In spite of the pain of his hemorrhoids he ejaculated fiercely. We did the swinging suck and swinging fuck, giddy as teenage boys when they’re about to pop their first cherry. I swung front to back, pushing against the walls with my hands, banging my anus against his torso, savoring the movement of his penis inside my body, and I felt the immense need to have that penis stroking in my throat. I said, “I’m ready, I’m ready, I’m ready, …” repeatedly until he stilled my swinging.

This would be my finest moment. I was already bound, he swung me above the bed and dropped me. I was dead calm and still, but he trembled, his chest jumping as he repressed his sobs. He was a sloppy mess, I didn’t think he’d be able to do it, but I was wrong. He asked if I wanted him to knock me out, and I said no, I wanted to feel the agonies of my body as I died. I owed that much to María, for the pain I had caused her. The Prof said he’d push deep immediately and stay deep until the choking stopped. I’d be unconscious, then he’d stroke until he ejaculated – I’d be dead by then. I agreed but thought he should strap down my legs and trunk against violent movements. That done, I suggested a slippery lubricant. He lubricated his penis, the poured a small quantity into my mouth. I swished and gargled and swallowed.

We were ready. He asked if I had any last words. I said, “I’m sorry about your father, let’s do it.” He injected a small quantity of cloudy liquid into a vein, then pulled my head down over the edge of the bed, and pushed his penis into my mouth. I planned to savor this delicacy for a while – I began sucking and licking the head, the sweetest taste I had remaining in my life.

The Prof had other plans – he pushed in quickly, hit the back of my throat, and I started gagging but too late, he slid into my throat easily. His testicles buried my nose, but it didn’t matter, I couldn’t breathe through my throat. He wiggled and squirmed until he bottomed-out, pushing his penis a few more millimeters into my throat. He sat down fully on my face, embedding my chin in his abdomen – I couldn’t move my head at all. My neck hurt severely like it would break. Most of his body weight was on my neck bent across the edge of the bed. I thought I should give him one last fright – I’d give his penis a nip, but my jaw was trapped. I suddenly became frightened – there was no way to call this off, no safe word, no way to escape. I was dead minus four minutes. I took a mental deep breath and relaxed. I only had 1 or 2 minutes of lucidity left, I might as well enjoy them. Besides, there are far worse ways to die. This was erotic, passionate – this man had wanted me so badly he would kill me with his penis.

My mind drifted out of my body, and I watched myself gagging and choking. My body started shaking and jerking. The extra straps were a godsend, I would have easily thrown him off without them. My penis turned red from the blood seeking to engorge! I couldn’t see my face for his body, but I could still feel my eyes fluttering, my head was vibrating. He sat there, holding my arms down, watching me struggle, then lay down on my body. I was beautiful, proud, and at the moment of my death, I finally knew what love is – it’s what you’re willing to kill for, or to die for. María. My body flushed, burned and glowed with love. María.

I couldn’t see anything anymore, just felt movements, convulsions of my body, and yes, his stroking. I must be at the edge of unconsciousness, and he’s fucking my throat, fucking me to death for the crimes of the CIA. I didn’t care about his father or the CIA, this was my redemption for hurting María. I wished it was her penis killing me …

The Prof was on the floor screaming, my head turned to his side, and I coughed vomit on him, choked and coughed, and repeated. I could barely get a breath, and the convulsions made breathing almost impossible. He crawled to a phone, called for an ambulance, just as his lover came in the door. They disappeared, and I laid there, strapped to the bed, not fucked to death, but drowning in my own vomit. This was not the erotic death I had signed-up for. My body shook, my stomach heaved, I choked and coughed and gasped and passed out. When I came to, I was kneeling naked in the street behind an ambulance, shaking and coughing and choking. Someone threw a blanket over me. Minutes later, The Estrella was fussing over me in the ER. She said I would be fine, but she would keep me overnight because she didn’t understand my sporadic convulsions. She came in several times as I drifted in and out. She asked what had happened, I replied it was just oral sex gone wrong when whatever I ate for dinner came up, nothing at all, except I was strapped down when my dinner revolted. She said the Prof was also in the hospital, and had just come out of surgery. He had been assaulted in front of his house and his penis half-severed. His damage was repaired, he’d likely have normal erections again.

Some weeks later I called the Prof. He was pleased to hear from me. He was fully recovered and proudly hosted my genital trophy sculpture as the centerpiece in his bondage room. He said the killing debacle was his fault – he started stroking me too early and some air would have gotten to my lungs. And he was an idiot for thinking the drug-induced convulsions wouldn’t occur in my jaw muscles. He joked he had my teeth marks permanently scarred on his penis, of which he was very proud. No hard feelings, and if I was ready to try again, he’d use surgical jaw clamps to keep my mouth open. The process we used had been validated by the first attempt, and he promised he’d succeed in fucking me to death the second time around. I felt the black tension growing in my groin. I said I’d have to think about it. As an enticement, he offered to video the entire process, so he could watch it at his pleasure and show it to selected gringo-haters. Now the black tension was roaring inside me, and I hastily signed off. I was ready to go to him. I needed to cool off and think, so I called the Estrella, and let her voice sooth me.

* * *

I was feeling ratty, laying in bed as the Estrella twitched and moaned beside me. We had spent half the night rolling her through the levels of Hades, only to stall out at the fourth level when she seized my head between her thighs, rolled over and almost broke my neck by her convulsions. Now she lay on her back, one hand rubbing her clitoris energetically, the other hand pulling and twisting a nipple towards the heavens. It was beautiful, and I was content to watch. The spectacle did not dispel my ratty-ness, I missed my penis at that moment and she missed it too. Well, not my penis, a penis 30 years younger.

When she finished, we talked for a while. She said she noticed my genital trophy sculpture was missing from the mantel, and she apologized for calling it creepy. She had a surprise – she brought formaldehyde from the lab and said we should change the cloudy fluid. I had to confess I gave the sculpture to The Prof. She talked about him for a while. Shortly after the assault that almost claimed his penis, he came out of the closet, left his wife and now lived with his lover at his apartment. Since then, he had become more friendly to her and everyone else at the hospital and had actually become a favorite among the med students. He declined most, maybe all, requests for ‘sexual points,’ he seemed to be focused on his partner. She grew animated – let’s give him a surprise visit right now with the excuse of changing the sculpture liquid. I didn’t think that was a great idea, but I couldn’t say no to her. Like María before her, she had gradually replaced my volition with hers – just to go out in public with her twisted my guts with pure pleasure.

Of course, she already knew most of my story with The Prof, except for the last ‘accident’, and the Prof knew about my relationship with her. They had become friends in the ER – I thought the visit would be harmless. We knocked on his door, waited, thought no one was home when The Prof cracked the door and peeked out. He smiled when he saw us, opened the door and welcomed us in with a sweep of his arm. He was completely nude, semi-erect with some dark liquid slathered on his erection. We made somewhat awkward greetings, and he led us into his bondage room. He pointed the Estrella at the trophy sculpture, and without stopping, walked to the bed where his lover was strapped down.

His lover had his neck bent over the end of the bed with a thick neck cushion, and had some sort of hellish instrument of torture holding his mouth open; his body was shaking and contorting. After squirting some liquid into his lover’s mouth, the Prof straddled his lover’s head and plunged his penis to the hilt into his mouth in a single movement. The Prof hit a button on top of a clock on the end table, then leaned forward, rested his weight on his lover’s face, squirmed down until his lover’s face was buried, and we watched together as his chest heaved and his body shook.

I was mesmerized, reliving, and the Estrella squeezed my arm and hung on. I wanted to see better, to watch this man die of his own choice, and I moved to the side of the bed, pulling the Estrella with me. Amongst the convulsions, his impressive penis flopping from side-to-side, I saw the man’s penis was engorged and pulsating. I grabbed his penis and he immediately ejaculated, spraying The Prof’s neck and chest. I could feel the pulses of semen flowing through his penis.

The alarm sounded, The Prof hit the alarm button again and started stroking his lover’s throat. As his penis cleared his lover’s throat, we could hear the gasps and sucking sounds of desperate breathing. The Prof ejaculated almost immediately, seconds later, the alarm sounded and the Prof withdrew. The lover coughed several times, semen dribbled from his mouth, and he grinned ear-to-ear, “What a rush! Whew! Fantastic!” I looked at The Estrella, she was pale, sagging on my arm, face green. Now she knew what had happened to me the night of my ‘accident’, the night the Prof’s penis was almost severed.

While the Prof removed the torture device from his lover’s mouth, he asked me if I was ready. The black tension in my groin had turned to black flame consuming my body. I said YES, but with no clock, no stopping until I found peace. The Prof laughed, said he had found his peace. I was forgiven for the sins of the gringos, and NO, he would not kill me today. He unstrapped his lover, and laid on the bed for his turn of their game, ‘death by throating.’

The Estrella pulled me away to the trophy sculpture, and we changed the formaldehyde. I poked at my testicles, they were stiffer now, less rubbery, still firm. I felt removed from them like they had never belonged to me, they didn’t matter anymore. The Prof had put another plaque on the jar, inscribed, ‘Received in Penitence by Professor [Prof].’ with the date. As we turned to leave, we saw the Prof’s lover plunging his remarkably large penis deep into the Prof’s mouth. I wondered how it would ever fit.

As The Estrella drove us out, we decided to spoil ourselves with a first-class brunch. We were both unsettled by what we had seen and were mainly silent and reflective as she drove. Over an excellent salmon omelet, we talked. The Estrella explained they were doing a dangerous variation of oxygen deprivation for orgasm enhancement. I thought, “Why not?”

I remarked it was strange the Prof allowed us, especially the Estrella, in his door while nude and fucking his partner. She reminded me we first met and had oral sex in the same apartment. She confessed she had ‘pointed’ for grades several times with the Prof before she met me. This is why The Prof had chosen her for me. Even as an ardent homosexual, the Prof easily got an erection for her anus, and once he got excited, he’d take her vagina and mouth equally well. It wasn’t hetero sex, just a place to stick his penis and ejaculate. My admiration for this amazing woman ticked up several notches – the María-spirit was strong in her.

She asked me if I wanted to die. I told her sometimes my loss of María was unbearable, but no, I didn’t want to die.

We left the restaurant and decided to walk in the park across the street. The Estrella put her arm around my waist; I put my arm around her back and cupped her breast. I strutted like all those old gringos in the Zona Rosa in Mexico City, escorting whores younger than their daughters. The Estrella said,

“If you ever need to die, I’ll do it. Don’t go with some stranger who doesn’t love you.”

Te amo hasta la muerte mia. ” (I love you as deep as my death.)

I knew the meaning of love – it’s what you’re willing to kill or die for. She was willing to kill me for me. I was willing to die so she could kill me for me … The circular reasoning sounded the alarm in my head – people are willing to kill or die for every stupidity conceivable: their religion, their country, their race, penis cults of all descriptions, ugh! What a crock of mierda! I was wrong – love isn’t about killing or dying. I was lost again. I didn’t know what love is, but I knew I loved the Estrella.

The Estrella was not for me, she’d have her own young man and family soon. But until then, I would please her. Maybe that’s what love is.

End of book content.


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